Sunday, October 28, 2007

post-script

So, obviously I had a pretty fantastic birthday. Celebrated the big 3-0 in style just as planned. So why am I sitting in my apartment alone at 9 pm on the tail end of this monumental day? I could be with countless other people right now. Could be doing anything. But I'm sitting here in my PJs alone. And, it's by choice. I just wanted to be by myself for awhile. Thinking seriously about eating another piece of cake. In a very contemplative mood. Wondering, what comes next?

The Big 3-0 . . .

30 is big. I mean, it's monumental. Right? It seems as if you've reached some kind of milestone. A kind of turning point. So, if it's a big, monumental milestone of a turning point then it deserves to be celebrated in style. No?

The weekend started out with the arrival of the majority of my Missouri family . . . you can't turn thirty without your twin sister by your side! We did the family thing at my cousin's house for dinner and were joined by a few honorary Hallers (you know them as Ian and Gigi). Have I mentioned that my cousin (and cousin-in-law!) make freakin' awesome margaritas? If so, it bears repeating: my cousin makes freakin' awesome margaritas! The juiced up tequila was occompanied by equally awesome guac and fajitas. Ian, did you eat your weight in fajita meat? Not judging, buddy. I think I drank them out of house and home:) Little sis Sarah made our b-day cake and it was enjoyed by all. But, Julie may have enjoyed it a little more than others!




The next day we headed over to Norma's for a little breakfast - yum, yum. Norma's is most well known for their biscuits. Cousins Steve, Julie, Max and Sam discovered this place for me - I'd lived right down the street from it for 3 years and never dropped in! Below is our pictoral tribute to Norma's. God bless the biscuit!

Samantha in a biscuit coma!

Biscuit head and her twin sister biscuit butt:)

This morning we had a birthday brunch at Erica and Travis's house (Thanks guys!). It was a beautiful fall day filled with family and fun . . .

Ian and his "little rogue!"

Jacelynn giving her Aunt Amy a birthday yoshi:)

Myla and Sarah flashing those famous Haller smiles!

It has been the perfect birthday celebration weekend. Thanks so much to all my family and friends who put such effort into making it special!





I love you KK! Happy birthday "little sister!"


Thursday, October 25, 2007

"Do I stay or do I go now?"

Been struggling a lot lately with my career path. It's hard for me to admit (getting easier!) but I'm not happy with my professional life. And that's so not me! It's a completely foreign feeling. I've always been pretty smug with the choices I've made when it comes to my job. Starting with the decision to go to med school, I've felt confident at each juncture that I was on the right path. But, now? The only thing I'm confident about is that I've made a mistake.

I was naive. I was, actually, the definition of naive. I put a lot of trust in people that don't deserve it, trust in people that did nothing to earn it. But a lot of the responsibility is with me. I took the easiest road, the path of least resistance. I know that now.

The next step is knowing what to do about it. And that's the big problem I'm facing. Because, I have NO idea what to do.

Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler" keeps running through my head: You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, know when to run. Well Kenny, that may be easier said (or sung!) than done. I guess I'll just put on my poker face until I get it all figured out . . .

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Expiration Date: 2017

I am no longer a board eligible physician. I am now board certified in Internal Medicine, having just received an e-mail notification of my passing score. Is it just me, or are things getting awfully grown up around here?

Monday, October 22, 2007

Lone Karaoke - check.

I did it. Never doing it again. Traumatized for life. Mostly because I heard Gigi laughing at me the whole time. Hoping my face will stop being red sometime before work tomorrow. Feel that I am forever destined to do duets . . .

"you must forgive me, if I'm up and gone to Carolina in my mind"

Back home and once again exhausted from a long weekend away. But worth it because of both the company and the surroundings.

Asheville is freaking beautiful!

Natalie and I had a great time hanging out in the city - vintage/thrift store shopping, drinking lots of tasty local microbrews, people watching. We may have eaten a little as well:) A few highlights of the weekend:

Every Friday night there is a "Drum Circle" in downtown Asheville. People just show up with various kinds of drums and start playing. It draws a huge crowd. Great drum beats and crazy dancing - what's not to love?!

Cats and Dawgs: Readers of this blog must think I'm obsessed with hot dogs. Perhaps I am:) Went to this particular restaurant on recommendation of friends and I wasn't disappointed. Tried the traditional "Carolina" dog and enjoyed it immensely - cole slaw makes everything a little bit better:) Also had the infamous chili cheese fries. Katie/Jesse, what do they put in that chili? Crack? Best order of fries I've ever had. Ever.
Found this great independent bookstore that made me want to move to the area so I could spend every Saturday afternoon there. Spent too much money on books that I probably don't need, but . . .

Drove up and down the Blue Ridge Parkway. The weather was perfect and the sky was clear. Spent an amazing afternoon just soaking up the sun and that "something" that is fall.

Came back to a cold and wet Dallas. May seem like a major let down after the beauty of the weekend. But it's actually perfect. 'Cause it's ideal nap weather and I am so in need of a nap:)


Friday, October 19, 2007

BTW: picture of guest blogger in question:)

And from our guest blogger Natalie . . .

I'm a little bit shy and giggly right now because I've never written a blog entry before. You see, blogs were invented when I lived in the Marshall Islands on a tiny rock in the Pacific. Same with iPods. By extension, I don't have either of these items and am quite intimidated by this high-flying technology. I do, however, have a scar from a skin boil. Yep, just like folks in the Old Testament. In addition, I took 4 years' worth of showers by bucket. Please don't interpret these two bits of trivia as connected.

Anyway, so I'm writing this blog because Amy is visiting me for our birthdays. It has been 8 years since we've seen each other in October. Hard to believe since we pretty much spent all birthdays together from 1988 until 1999. Let's hope we get back on this streak again!

Amy and I lead very different lives these days. She has a blog. I have a facebook account. She lives in an apartment by herself. I live in a building with 120 18-year-olds. Amy is wearing her Yoda shirt that she wore for School Picture Day in 11th grade. I haven't even seen the "new" Star Wars movies. Amy said "that's a pretty good cast" when she saw Aaron's arm bandaged up in a sweaty sock, a magazine and electrical tape. I said, "Aaron, you should go to a doctor." Amy contra-danced with a hot guy. Only old men ask me to dance. You get the picture...

Okay, so I think my first blog entry is coming to an end. Though, I hope it is not truly an end, but merely the beginning of many more blog entries and comments on Amy's site.

Good day and good cheer. (That's from my favorite Robert Redford movie, Upclose and Personal, for you who aren't obsessed with this AARP heart throb.)

Smells like fall!

Already more fall leaves on the ground here than we
usually see in Texas all season!

"It's not easy being green . . ."

Made it safely into Asheville last evening and already having a great time!

So, so great to get to spend time with Natalie - we haven't spent a birthday together since her 21st in KC. Oh, those Westport days:)

Nat works on the Warren Wilson College campus and that's where we've spent the majority of our time so far. This school is so far away from my college experience. It's small, only about 800 students. And it is green. I'm talking seriously green. They have an Eco-dorm that is solar powered with compost toilets. Apparently the toilet was nominated for their homecoming court this year (not kidding!). Unfortunately it got beat out by the college farm goat (again, not kidding!). It's a work college so they have a fully functional farm that is student run. They raise organic beef and pork. They even have a dairy cow that the students can get fresh milk from. Apparently it's not outside the norm for people to make yogurt and cheese in their dorm rooms. So far from my UMKC days!

We hit nearby Black Mountain this afternoon for lunch. I found a coffee house that boasts "the best espresso in the mountains (Rockies Included)" and you know what? I believe them!

Tonight we're going to head into downtown Asheville for something called the Drum Circle. I have no idea what that means but am looking forward to finding out:)

Almost forgot: Last night I went Contra dancing. Oh-my-God. That's it for now. Still recovering . . .

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Dead Heat

Made it into Charlotte on time and waiting to board a little bity plane to my final destination. Even had enough time to hit the bathroom AND the bookstore. Discovered that Dick Francis wrote another book - he has to be about 80! This one shares author credit with his son . . . Significance? Hope Dick isn't contemplating retirement!
P.S. Lovin' this e-mail/text blogging thing!

Rev-ed up and Red-y

Just boarded the plane to Asheville. Have a connecting flight through Charlotte. Already running late and the timing was really tight to begin with. Off to a stellar start . . .
P.S. This is my first e-mail blog!
P.P.S. Happy 29th Nat!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Super "Z"


Almost a week old and she's doing better every day!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

"I really do want world peace."

Last night I went to the Tipp by myself. My usual Monday night karaoke buddy was out of the country and I needed a Harp fix. I love the Tipp. I don't really go for the karaoke. I go for the people, the vibe. It's this great little Irish pub in the middle of Dallas. It's my Cheers, ya know? So, ok. Not everybody knows my name. But they know my drink and that's infinitely better:)

Every Monday night they have karaoke. Despite the Dallas lack of appreciation for Johnny Horton and the like, fun has been had there I can assure you. Some of that fun has even been caught on tape . . . Ian, I still have the video somewhere of our Kid/Sheryl duet so don't cross me:)

There I was drinking my Harp (Thanks Kristy!), enjoying the show. When I got there one of the regulars was singing my favorite James Taylor song. It was a bad rendition but good, know what I mean? With this promising start, I continued my passive observation. People came by to say hi, more Harp arrived at my side. Good times. Then people started to ask when I was going to sing and the karaoke guy asked if I was waiting for "everybody else" to arrive before getting on stage. I started to feel a little defensive without knowing why. Realization struck like a punch to the stomach -

I never sing by myself.

Never.

I'm not shy. Ok. Sometimes I'm shy. But not as a rule. And I'm not generally adverse to making a fool of myself. I get up there routinely and sing some really horrible karaoke. And frequently that's stone cold sober! But, again, never by myself.

Not sure how this has previously escaped my attention. And, not exactly sure what it even means. I just know I'm a little disturbed by it. Maybe I take myself a little more seriously than I'd like to admit? This feels important. This seems like something to be overcome.

I am getting perilously close to my 30th birthday. In fact there is only one more Monday night between me and that milestone. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I had hoped to accomplish prior to the big 3-o. Lone karaoke has never been on the list. But everything else - owning my first home, starting a family, world peace, etc. . . - is just so damn intimidating! And not likely to fit into my current time constraints. And so,

Next Monday night, the 22nd of October, I will sing a song. By myself. All alone. No back up singers. Hell, no lead singer. Just me and the stage.

Take that you nasty fourth decade.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

birth day


She's here. A little early - 8 weeks to be exact - but here. Sweet Zoe Jane (Hughes) Williams came into the world screaming. A great sign and nothing less than expected given how vocal and/or opinionated her parents can be!

She's tough, also not surprising given her lineage, but could certainly use your prayers/blessings/healing energy/good vibrations/etc . . . So don't be stingy!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Saturday, October 6, 2007

I'm still full . . .

So last weekend, as you all know, I went to Chicago. The trip was in honor of Ian's 30th birthday and fun was had by all. The other attendees have each blogged their accounts and recollections of said fun. I'm not sure that I have much to add to their descriptions. Although, some seem to be just a little sketchy on the details:) You can follow links to their blogs throughout this entry but I'm adding my two cents in as well. As promised, there will be pictures. And video. Oh, did I forget to mention the existence of video? How careless of me:)

Day 1
Our arrival in Chicago was without real incident. Yes, there was delay. Delay by air. Delay by train. And delay by people who promised the hotel was only 3 blocks from the L stop. But, overall, without incident. The party got started with a little nutritional stop for pre-drinking sustenance at Ian's favorite pizza place.


After we were sufficiently stuffed we headed out for some alcohol-influenced fun. I'm really not sure what I can say about what happened next. After all, it's already been documented. I don't feel I really have anything to add. And besides, don't they say something about a picture being worth a thousand words . . .


Gigi found the night air very refreshing on the cab ride home and decided the best way to fully appreciate it was to stick her head of the window. This resulted in her new nickname C-dog. I'll leave it up to y'all to figure out where the "C" comes from:)

You may be thinking "surely the night ended there." Not quite. First, Gigi wanted to sing Ian and I to sleep . . .



Day 2
The day was good. We slept in. We drank coffee. We ate lunch. We shopped. We explored Chicago. What more could a couple of twentysomethings and a brand new 30 year old ask for? How about a couple more friends from the north? The day was good. The night was better.

We again felt the need to fill our stomachs prior to ingesting the large amount of alcohol we suspected was in our future. A brewery down the street accomplished this for us and soon we were off. Next stop, the L. Gigi thought she could channel the Karate Kid and maintain her balance on the overcrowded moving train without a hand hold. She was wrong. But the random guy she fell into seemed to take it in stride.

The discovery of a Tequila Bar may have been our group's downfall. It really wasn't our fault. It had this nice green awning outside. It looked so friendly. So benign. There were chips. There was salsa. And, of course, there was tequila. I passed on the initial round of shots and kept my margarita tally down to one. This went largely unnoticed by the rest of the party and I'm not really sure what prompted the decision on my part. No matter. I was otherwise a full participant in the evening's festivities:)

Katie apparently has a thing about cleavage. More specifically, about photographic evidence of cleavage. While we all showed a little somethin' somethin', I didn't feel it was necessary to post all the pictures for you here. Instead, I've decided that the boys will represent us very nicely.



After we had our fill of tequila, we decided some dancing was in order. We opted to follow the recommendation of our new friend the bus boy. His advice led us to a club not far from our hotel. This dancing has been described by others as dirty. But I assure you, good clean fun all around. Or at least comparatively. No shirts were lost in the making of the evening:)




"We somehow by the grace of God made it home...I don't recall the trip, and was apparently quite comatose after the trip."

"I sprinted across the street through a yellow light so as not to lose track of the great navigator. I managed to slow down the aforementioned force of nature, and eventually the rest caught up and we did in fact make it safely back to the hotel on foot."

"I am told the agave wielded its crop upon the back of Gigi, who navigated flawlessly back to the Amalfi. I have no recollection."

"I don't remember how exactly we got back home, although... did I for a bit try to convince everyone it would be a nice night to walk? Did we take a cab?"

We did, in fact, make it safely back to our hotel that evening. Again, I'm not exactly sure what to say about what happened next. There was certainly some craziness with a little bit of "ornery" thrown in. And yet another serenade at bedtime . .



Day 3
The next day dawned - ok, so dawned would be slightly inaccurate - and breakfast was in order. Some coffee, a few eggs, and several really excellent Cinnamon rolls later and we were all a little bit better off than we started out. The day was fairly,and necessarily, low-key. The evening had us meeting up with a few friends of Ian's who lived in the city. And then?

The Hot Dog Adventure Tour!
I had been to Chicago on several occasions prior to this trip. But I'd never had a Chicago dog. And I love hot dogs. I knew that this had to be the trip to remedy the hole in my culinary education. Luckily, I also knew Jesse to be somewhat of a hot dog junkie and figured he'd be up to the task.

We'd done a little research before this weekend. Didn't want to go in cold:) We also had done some leg work over the preceding 24 hours. After clearing our choice with a few locals we got started - Clark Street Dog it was. We located the eatery and got to eating. I only ordered a single dog. We'd had a huge "breakfast" at around 2 pm and I wasn't starving. Mistake. Once I got a taste I needed more. Before I could get up to order a second serving, Jesse suggested that perhaps we could move on and try another offering. Brilliant.


We found ourselves at The Wiener's Circle . Here you had the option of a "char" dog. Yes, please. I did mine in traditional Chicago style - onions, tomatoes, mustard, and celery salt. No ketchup in site. HUGE sacrifice for me but well worth it. Unfortunately I wasn't strong enough to try for a third location but I finished the night with a very, very happy belly.


Day 4
Left super early the next morning so my story ends here. But the memories? I think they'll stick around for a while. Ian, Gigi, Jesse, and Katie: thanks for the fun:)

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Happy birthday Pop!



My dad is the coolest. Seriously. There are so many things I could say about him today, his birthday. Decided to say just one, something I feel is representative of the cool man and great father he is.

My dad drove down from Missouri with my mom and hung my book shelves for me. Book shelves that he had made (and Mom had finished!). Book shelves that had been sitting in my bedroom since their arrival in Texas. Just sitting there because I knew that he would come. Before and after pictures are above. Thanks Daddy - I love you! Happy birthday:)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I have been challenged.

A question has been asked: who can provide the best blog account of this past weekend's trip to Chicago? I have been challenged and I accept this challenge. I may not be the most witty. I may not be the best at turning a tale. And I'm certainly not the best speller of big, impressive words. But I do have all the pictures:)

My attempt, coming soon.

Monday, October 1, 2007

I-70's looking pretty good . . .

I am exhausted.

I spent the weekend in Chicago with friends for Ian's 30th birthday. We had a great time. Really great. But. I think this weekend has confirmed for me what I have long suspected. I am getting old. Getting? Hell, may already be there. I just can't keep up like I used to. Thankfully, with age comes wisdom. I feel I now know my limits and try to back off as I approach them. Result being, finished the weekend being the only one not to get completely smashed. Even better, hangover free. Of course that placed me in the mom role a couple of times over the past few days. Do I gravitate to that role or does it gravitate towards me? So, despite my surviving Chicago sans smash the end result was unfortunately still the following blog opener:

I am exhausted.

Thank God that wisdom, again, comes with age. Because I had the foresight to take today off as well. What does it say about me that I have to have a day off to recover from a day off?

Now here I sit. Drinking coffee, eating peanut butter toast, and blogging about the state of my life. The state overall, as I see it, is good. Let me dissect it a bit below . . .

The Chicago trip,in spite of the extreme fatigue, was perfect in a lot of ways. If you've never visited the city in the fall you are missing out. The weather was beautiful. Spent some quality time with good friends. Even made a new friend - so nice to meet you Katie! Got a little shopping in. Ate. A lot. My favorite culinary experience was our Hot Dog Adventure Tour. Guess I'll be blogging about that in the near future since I've already titled it:)

Recently reconnected with a really good friend via phone that I haven't seen in an embarrassingly long time. Actually have plans to reconnect with her in person later today. Because here's the thing. She lives in Dallas and I haven't seen her in almost a year. I told you it was embarrassing!

Re connections are apparently my thing lately. Been getting to hang out with a friend who's been out of the country and in a week he'll be moving to Argentina (!). Getting my Garrison time in:) And I've seen another great friend twice in the past ten days that I probably haven't been able to hang out with in months. Definitely been reconnecting.

And the job? Let's skip that for now.

The problem is this: For every reconnection I've made, I have 3 other people I've been neglecting. For every trip I've made or city I've visited, I have 5 other places I've never been that I feel drawn to explore. For every day off I have that gives me some Amy time, I crave another week of days filled with the same.

Who's life is this? Is it mine? Did I make it what it is? Or did it morph on its own? If I'm the creator, did I do right by me or have I made one huge mistake followed by another? The overall state may be good, even appealing, on the surface. But - and here's the real question - is it the state I want to live in?

Maybe it's time to think about relocation.