Saturday, January 4, 2014

2014

2013 ended on - frankly - a shitty note.  It was a stellar year overall - my little e.r is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me.  But towards the end of the year life just got, I don't know, funky?  And not in a good way?  I don't even know exactly how to describe it.  Definitely there are specific events and experiences I could recount.  But they wouldn't really capture the basic feeling of yuckiness.  Was hoping that with the start of 2014 everything would feel somehow fresher, cleaner.  Which is kind of stupid.  Counting on the turn of the calendar to make me feel good about where I am is way past lazy and naive.  Right?  So here I am 4 short days into the new year and I am deep into one serious funk.  This morning I sat at my kitchen table because the kitchen is my happy place (side note: less happy since I saw a scary sized gray mouse dart across the floor during dinner a few days back).  I sat and I thought.  Trying to figure it - everything - out.  And in walked my Clayton.  Quite a bit of my current funk I laid on his shoulders.  Some appropriately.  Some unfairly.  But I put it out there.  And you wanna know what he did?  He took it.  He just took it.  And now I can see how maybe this year might be the best one yet.  Because he's here with me.  Always.