you want french fries with that?

Haven't really been sleeping too well since I made it home. Not sure if it's the childhood bed or just still off from working nights last week. Was EXHAUSTED at 10 last night so went to bed. Didn't get up until 830. But woke up about a million times in between! And I'm dreaming a lot. Some really bad work dreams that just wear me out and 1 really terrifying dream where someone tried to steal Myla away from me. Also lots of others that are pretty fuzzy. End result being that I am just not getting the quality beauty sleep that I so desperately need!

Been spending some time thinking about the different pieces of me. You know what I mean? There are so many layers. So many things that, on the surface, may seem contradictory. Wondering if I've ever really showed all those pieces to any one individual. Or, do I sometimes only let certain aspects show to certain people? Do I censor myself? Do I sort of, I don't know, read the crowd? Do I let my inner nerd shine through in some situations and then lock her away in others? Do I at times hide away the hopeless romantic in me? Would it be hard for someone to come up with a fairly comprehensive list of things I feel passionate about? Would it be hard for me????

I so, so hate to be pigeonholed. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate it when people assume things about me based on precious little information or interaction. Hate when they make the jump that because I feel a) about a situation then I must also feel b). It's just always seemed lazy to me, you know? But maybe it's because I'm withholding. Maybe I'm cheating a little. Maybe I'm not letting loose with all the pertinents. Maybe I don't really want anyone to see the whole picture?

Remember the wall conversation several months back? Remember how bothered I was by that observation? Had come up with the conclusion that being cautious and careful with new relationships wasn't equivalent to holding back. Am I wrong?

Wait. This is stupid. I'm not wrong. Making rash conclusions based on too little information is lazy. And choosing who you let into the inner workings of you is smart, not shady. See? This is what happens to me when I wake up at 3 am and can't immediately fall back to sleep. This is what a loss of REM does to me. If people really want to know who I am or what I'm about they just have to dig a little. It's not a secret. It's just not broadcast as a ticky tape display above my head.

Good things come to those who dig. Like buried treasure. And potatoes. I love potatoes. :)