Umm, Spring? Remember that talk we had a while back?Tuesday, February 9, 2010
the big chill
I'd like to blame my post-dinner coffee. But I know that poor little cup of caffeine doesn't deserve it. Falling asleep wasn't an issue. It's the staying asleep that turned out to be a problem. Up for three hours now and just can't get my brain to turn off.
A while ago someone fed me a line about being perfect, inquiring about any hidden faults. (I know, I know. Where to begin, right?) I responded that I have really, really high expectations. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of him. But it's unfortunately very true.
I alternate between feeling these expectations are legitimate and feeling guilty that I want and/or need so much. I'm not sure how one knows whether or not their expectations are fair. How you're supposed to know when it's all too much. Is it only too much when expectations aren't met? When someone fails you? Is it ok to have just about any expectation as long as it's verbalized? Or is any expectation you have of someone other than yourself just a big set-up for disappointment? I used to think it was ok to expect a lot from people because I never expected anything of someone that I didn't also expect from myself. Is that selfish? Self-centered? Naive? Just plain wrong?
I once read something about the difference between having expectations and being expectant. I think I even tried to blog about it but couldn't quite get my head around it. At the time, I wondered if this wasn't the answer to all my problems. The sure fire way to weed disappointment from my life. If you never have expectations from people or situations, those people and situations can't fail you. Can't hurt you.
Why does even the idea of that just sound so cold and lonely?
A while ago someone fed me a line about being perfect, inquiring about any hidden faults. (I know, I know. Where to begin, right?) I responded that I have really, really high expectations. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of him. But it's unfortunately very true.
I alternate between feeling these expectations are legitimate and feeling guilty that I want and/or need so much. I'm not sure how one knows whether or not their expectations are fair. How you're supposed to know when it's all too much. Is it only too much when expectations aren't met? When someone fails you? Is it ok to have just about any expectation as long as it's verbalized? Or is any expectation you have of someone other than yourself just a big set-up for disappointment? I used to think it was ok to expect a lot from people because I never expected anything of someone that I didn't also expect from myself. Is that selfish? Self-centered? Naive? Just plain wrong?
I once read something about the difference between having expectations and being expectant. I think I even tried to blog about it but couldn't quite get my head around it. At the time, I wondered if this wasn't the answer to all my problems. The sure fire way to weed disappointment from my life. If you never have expectations from people or situations, those people and situations can't fail you. Can't hurt you.
Why does even the idea of that just sound so cold and lonely?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
good UOP and just 9 more minutes . . .
Still not completely back to baseline in the health department but feeling much, much better. Actually managed to make it to the gym on Tuesday and planning a repeat when I get off work this afternoon. Got back on track with my December and January habits and my February habits are off to an ok start.
Bad Habit: snoozing. Good Habit: H2O. I'll expound.
I'm a snoozer. I average 4-5 snoozes a morning which accounts for 36 to 45 extra minutes each day. The problem is that I set my alarm based on the habit. You know what I mean? I'm super speedy getting ready for work in the morning - gotta love scrubs! - and I usually only need a total of 45 minutes from bed to office. I get to work at 6:30, indicating the need for a 5:45 wake time. But I was setting my alarm for 5:15. And it's 10 min fast. See the problem? I mean, let's face it. Snooze sleep is shitty sleep. Right? So this month I've reset my alarm clock for 5:45. It's still 10 minutes fast which allows for a single snooze if desperately needed or a little extra time in the office preparing for my day. So far, so good.
And on to the water. Gave up pop back in December and have drastically cut back on my coffee addiction. But I never really replaced that previous intake with anything. I was getting really dehydrated! I swear I actually did go to med school. So now drinking almost ridiculous amounts of water. Trying for 8 glasses a day on average. I still feel dry (damn this winter) but have started to reclaim a more normal micturition schedule. Good job, me:)
Bad Habit: snoozing. Good Habit: H2O. I'll expound.
I'm a snoozer. I average 4-5 snoozes a morning which accounts for 36 to 45 extra minutes each day. The problem is that I set my alarm based on the habit. You know what I mean? I'm super speedy getting ready for work in the morning - gotta love scrubs! - and I usually only need a total of 45 minutes from bed to office. I get to work at 6:30, indicating the need for a 5:45 wake time. But I was setting my alarm for 5:15. And it's 10 min fast. See the problem? I mean, let's face it. Snooze sleep is shitty sleep. Right? So this month I've reset my alarm clock for 5:45. It's still 10 minutes fast which allows for a single snooze if desperately needed or a little extra time in the office preparing for my day. So far, so good.
And on to the water. Gave up pop back in December and have drastically cut back on my coffee addiction. But I never really replaced that previous intake with anything. I was getting really dehydrated! I swear I actually did go to med school. So now drinking almost ridiculous amounts of water. Trying for 8 glasses a day on average. I still feel dry (damn this winter) but have started to reclaim a more normal micturition schedule. Good job, me:)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
get those housewarming gifts ready
am blogging sustenance: Mighty Leaf Organic Breakfast Tea
am blogging soundtrack: HGTV's Holmes on Homes (Yeah. I know.)
Have an extremely busy day of brunch, massages, and possibly a movie planned. Not quite sure how I'll make it through:) But, seriously? Just trying to take it super easy while making it out into the world at the same time. Suspect that so much time off my couch will leave me exhausted by mid-afternoon. I hate being sick. Even the recovery time sucks. Which is why I'm reentering life with a few of my favorite things:)
As you might have gathered from my choice of blogging soundtrack above, I have a new addiction and it is called HGTV. This has slowly become my go-to channel when looking for a way to pass a random available hour. But over the past 48 hours it's become so much more. Even I can't sleep for 18 hours a day. So my sick days included a lot of cuddling up on my couch with my favorite flannel pajamas, a big mug of tea, one of Grandma's quilts, and the priceless advice of some of my new best friends.
Mike Holmes taught me how to build a garage and renovate a basement, the right way. Sandra Rinomato has loaded me up with tons of helpful hints for buying my first home. Jamie Durie makes me want my own outdoor living space so badly it hurts. And David Bromstad has given me some wild ideas on color. They've been great. They're been entertaining. I guess what they've really been is inspiring.
So. You're reading it here first, folks. I'm going on a house hunt. And I can't wait:)
am blogging soundtrack: HGTV's Holmes on Homes (Yeah. I know.)
Have an extremely busy day of brunch, massages, and possibly a movie planned. Not quite sure how I'll make it through:) But, seriously? Just trying to take it super easy while making it out into the world at the same time. Suspect that so much time off my couch will leave me exhausted by mid-afternoon. I hate being sick. Even the recovery time sucks. Which is why I'm reentering life with a few of my favorite things:)
As you might have gathered from my choice of blogging soundtrack above, I have a new addiction and it is called HGTV. This has slowly become my go-to channel when looking for a way to pass a random available hour. But over the past 48 hours it's become so much more. Even I can't sleep for 18 hours a day. So my sick days included a lot of cuddling up on my couch with my favorite flannel pajamas, a big mug of tea, one of Grandma's quilts, and the priceless advice of some of my new best friends.
Mike Holmes taught me how to build a garage and renovate a basement, the right way. Sandra Rinomato has loaded me up with tons of helpful hints for buying my first home. Jamie Durie makes me want my own outdoor living space so badly it hurts. And David Bromstad has given me some wild ideas on color. They've been great. They're been entertaining. I guess what they've really been is inspiring.
So. You're reading it here first, folks. I'm going on a house hunt. And I can't wait:)
Friday, January 29, 2010
now, about that hero I mentioned . . .
I'm sure he'll find this at least a little embarrassing, but I'm banking on him forgetting about the existence of my humble little blog. I just got the following email from Clayton:
Dearest Amy,
I hope your day is going well and you didn't drown in your sleep; but got tons of good reparative zzz's. I love you and can't wait to see you tonight. If you are still feeling sick, I don't think I'll sleep over, just so I don't get sick/keep you up/have you keep me up, but in the morning call me when you wake up and I'll head over to you so either we can get breakfast or I'll bring it to you. I brought the cold and sinus balm that you got me to work, so I can head straight from here to you and rub you down.
Very Much in Love,
Clayton
I'm a very lucky -although still a little on the snotty side- girl:)
Dearest Amy,
I hope your day is going well and you didn't drown in your sleep; but got tons of good reparative zzz's. I love you and can't wait to see you tonight. If you are still feeling sick, I don't think I'll sleep over, just so I don't get sick/keep you up/have you keep me up, but in the morning call me when you wake up and I'll head over to you so either we can get breakfast or I'll bring it to you. I brought the cold and sinus balm that you got me to work, so I can head straight from here to you and rub you down.
Very Much in Love,
Clayton
I'm a very lucky -although still a little on the snotty side- girl:)
cabin fever
It's cold and rainy and I feel like crap. Welcome to my pity party. Can I get you a drink?
Went home early from work today for the second day in a row. I'm such a slacker. My partners have been great, letting me cut out early after I've seen all my peops. And how do I thank them? By leaving lots of amy's-sick cooties in my wake. Nice, huh? I think they were all just really thankful that I made it in each morning to see my share of our 120 plus patients before crying uncle. Wondering if my patients are feeling that same level of appreciation . . .
Was supposed to road trip to Houston this weekend for TC's baby shower. Now that's out and I feel terrible about missing the opportunity to see Leticia and her baby bump. But there's no way I'm letting little Mexi-melt be exposed to my current brand of nasty:(
Feeling miserable but also extremely antsy. Just going a little stir crazy, ya know? Counting on Clayton rescuing me from myself when he gets off work tonight. My hero:)
My good habits have been suffering this week while I've been sick. Really hard to convince yourself that 50 crunches are necessary when you're hacking up a lung. Hoping that I can get back on track soon . . . Still haven't decided what to add in for February.
Wow. This was all a little depressing. Should have offered you guys a double.
Went home early from work today for the second day in a row. I'm such a slacker. My partners have been great, letting me cut out early after I've seen all my peops. And how do I thank them? By leaving lots of amy's-sick cooties in my wake. Nice, huh? I think they were all just really thankful that I made it in each morning to see my share of our 120 plus patients before crying uncle. Wondering if my patients are feeling that same level of appreciation . . .
Was supposed to road trip to Houston this weekend for TC's baby shower. Now that's out and I feel terrible about missing the opportunity to see Leticia and her baby bump. But there's no way I'm letting little Mexi-melt be exposed to my current brand of nasty:(
Feeling miserable but also extremely antsy. Just going a little stir crazy, ya know? Counting on Clayton rescuing me from myself when he gets off work tonight. My hero:)
My good habits have been suffering this week while I've been sick. Really hard to convince yourself that 50 crunches are necessary when you're hacking up a lung. Hoping that I can get back on track soon . . . Still haven't decided what to add in for February.
Wow. This was all a little depressing. Should have offered you guys a double.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
buliding a negotiation
Last week Clayton and I had a fight. Well, several in fact. We're better than ever now and - while very important at the time - the details aren't all that relevant to the purpose of this post. These fights were long distant as I'd made the trek to central Florida to check in on little sister Sarah. While wasting time at the Orlando Airport prior to my flight back to Texas, I found a book. A really, really great book.
Why Him? Why Her? is written by Helen Fisher and it's enlightening. Seriously. It places people in 4 primary personality groups and sort of dissects who and how each of the groups love. Some of it is a little on the cheesy side but other parts are very nearly inspiring. For me, the worth of the book can be summed up by this: Instead of asking Clayton to analyze with me every small nuance of our fight - which is the way I usually roll - I just came home and told him I loved him. And we were both more than ok with that.
Why Him? Why Her? is written by Helen Fisher and it's enlightening. Seriously. It places people in 4 primary personality groups and sort of dissects who and how each of the groups love. Some of it is a little on the cheesy side but other parts are very nearly inspiring. For me, the worth of the book can be summed up by this: Instead of asking Clayton to analyze with me every small nuance of our fight - which is the way I usually roll - I just came home and told him I loved him. And we were both more than ok with that.
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