am blogging soundtrack: HC, Jr's When My Heart Finds Christmas
am blogging sustenance: Stonyfield Organic Greek yogurt
I'm a lucky girl.
No work today until 1pm. Woke up early and spent the hours so far making teeny tiny butter cookies that I will then lather with the most heavenly lemon glaze. After they cool and set, it's into some super retro jelly jars that I picked up on my last visit to the 'Burg. Then: tie 'em up with a pretty ribbon and spread some Christmas cheer!
After a (very) brief work day, I think I'll go out and pretend that I haven't been done with all my Christmas shopping for weeks . . . It happens every year. I'm all organized with game plan in mind sometime around my birthday. Then execution and the occasional small change in November. No wrapping until the tree is up after Thanksgiving. A few days of busy prep work. Then I just sit back and admire the bounty for the weeks preceding the big day. But now that we are firmly in Christmas week, I'm getting itchy! I kinda want to start all over!
Tonight we meet up with Clayton's parents at their favorite restaurant for tasty, tasty prime rib and Madrigal singers. Fun, right?! The annual family outing already took place but we missed it trying to get out of DC last weekend. So they took pity on us and tonight it's Lawry's: the sequel. Already salivating just a little:)
Tomorrow, another short work day - love me some pre-op clinic! - and then dinner and drinks with two of our favorite people, Brad and Lisa. Brad's birthday was last week so we're going to do a little combo celebration of both him and Baby Jesus. Yay!
Wednesday, a little bit longer of a work day but still likely to be ridiculously easy. And then, my Clayton Christmas. We're making a special dinner - rack of lamb with a creole mustard crust and a rosemary jous, lemony maple sweet potatoes, and fresh berries with cream for desert. We'll wake up Thursday morning, pretending it's Christmas, and tackle our stockings and previously mentioned under-the-tree-bounty. Our first Christmas in our new house. So sweet:)
The airport and Missouri follow. And then it's Haller Family Christmas and I can't WAIT! Sisters and smiles. Grandma and goodness. Parents and presents. Nieces. Nieces. NIECES!
Did I mention that I am one very lucky girl?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
it's my party and I'll cry if I want to
It's already Thursday and my vacation week is nearing it's end. It's been a great week filled with spa days, shopping, lunch dates, reading, good food, movies, and holiday spirit. And I have my fancy stay-cation with Clayton tonight and lots of Coby graduation festivities this weekend still yet to come. Very successful week off where I somehow managed to find that allusive perfect balance between relaxation and fun. But I'm a little on the sad side and don't have even half of a good reason for it. Problem. Solution: Sappy made-for-TV-Hallmark-channel Christmas movie here I come!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
it's not over til it's over
Listen
We don't call the shots here
We don't make the rules
We take what we get, get what we can
And it's learning the hard way
Here on the streets
You can't build a dream, without a plan
(Passion speaks) Let them hear you speak
(Play for keeps) They play to win, we play for keeps
Chorus: It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we get it right
The odds are against us
They say we don't stand a chance
But there's no giving up, no giving in
When push comes to shove
You got to fight for what you love
You do what you must, do what you can
(Passion speaks) Let them hear you speak
(Play for keeps) They play to win, we play for keeps
It's not over 'til it's over (It's not over)
It's not over 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over (Don't go giving in)
It's not over 'til we get it right
The odds are against us
But you know we still stand a chance
But there's no giving up, no giving in
It's not over
It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we, 'til we, 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we, 'til we, 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over
Don't go giving in now
Sometimes you find comfort in the darnedest things. Starship. Who knew?
We don't call the shots here
We don't make the rules
We take what we get, get what we can
And it's learning the hard way
Here on the streets
You can't build a dream, without a plan
(Passion speaks) Let them hear you speak
(Play for keeps) They play to win, we play for keeps
Chorus: It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we get it right
The odds are against us
They say we don't stand a chance
But there's no giving up, no giving in
When push comes to shove
You got to fight for what you love
You do what you must, do what you can
(Passion speaks) Let them hear you speak
(Play for keeps) They play to win, we play for keeps
It's not over 'til it's over (It's not over)
It's not over 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over (Don't go giving in)
It's not over 'til we get it right
The odds are against us
But you know we still stand a chance
But there's no giving up, no giving in
It's not over
It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we, 'til we, 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over
It's not over 'til we, 'til we, 'til we get it right
It's not over 'til it's over
Don't go giving in now
Sometimes you find comfort in the darnedest things. Starship. Who knew?
Monday, December 13, 2010
it's a nice day to start again
Natalie,
Hello dear, dear friend. It seems like forever since I last wrote to you. And even longer yet since the last time we got to chat. Most of that's my fault - the days just seem so full and they speed by so fast. But I guess I'll throw a little of the responsibility your way, too. If only you'd get over your need to live a hemisphere away!
Those busy days I mentioned most recently took us to some of your favored old stomping grounds. We spent the weekend in DC visiting our friend Carolyn for her birthday. Clayton hadn't been since he was a kid so everything seemed new to him. But even though I saw stuff I hadn't seen before, for me it was like one big memory rush. The springtime trip our junior year of college where a super grown up and sophisticated Nat showed me around her new home. The much, much colder New Year's return a few year's later when we drove through a snow storm to deliver your car to Virginia. Remember our drinking night at Old Glory in Georgetown? I walked by it Saturday night and couldn't believe we had ever been that young. And as I took a chilly look at the South Lawn of the White House, I recalled standing in almost the exact same place thinking how lonely the city looked right after 9-11. Clayton and I had a great time with great friends in a great city. But it made me miss you like crazy!
Speaking of Clayton, It's amazing to me that I have finally found my brown-haired boy (I upgraded from the brown eyes!) and you have yet to meet him. Remember all those late night talks, phone conversations, and emails where we dissected the male species and dreamt of who we would share our lives with? I think it was only a few years ago the last time we played MASH:) You always had a crush on someone new and I for so many years lived my crush life vicariously through you. Well this crush just ain't going away, Buggie. He's everything you could possibly want for me, everything I've ever wanted for myself. And I'm keeping him!
Work has been crazy. But isn't it always a little that way? Or, at least for me. But my priority rank for work has definitely changed over the last several years. And I have you to partially thank for that. I distinctly remember a conversation we had as we were driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains on a beautiful fall day. It was one of our birthday rendezvous adventures, I was about to turn 30. The week after that milestone I had to face some of the hardest decisions I'd ever been asked to make. And those decisions changed my life path forever. You were pretty harsh with me. And for the first time made me acknowledge that while I may have chosen medicine as my profession I didn't have to make it my life. It was a wake up call for me. And certainly helped me make my decision to leave Mansfield, take a sabbatical, and get my life back on track. So, in case I haven't said it previously, thank you:)
The holidays are upon us and I'm so looking forward to heading back to Missouri to spend them with the family. You wouldn't believe how big (and beautiful) the nieces are! Wanna know what I want for Christmas, Nat? To see your smiling face and hear your unmistakable laugh. To give my oldest friend the kind of hug that I reserve for my sisters. The kind of hug that feels a lot like home.
With love,
Amy
Hello dear, dear friend. It seems like forever since I last wrote to you. And even longer yet since the last time we got to chat. Most of that's my fault - the days just seem so full and they speed by so fast. But I guess I'll throw a little of the responsibility your way, too. If only you'd get over your need to live a hemisphere away!
Those busy days I mentioned most recently took us to some of your favored old stomping grounds. We spent the weekend in DC visiting our friend Carolyn for her birthday. Clayton hadn't been since he was a kid so everything seemed new to him. But even though I saw stuff I hadn't seen before, for me it was like one big memory rush. The springtime trip our junior year of college where a super grown up and sophisticated Nat showed me around her new home. The much, much colder New Year's return a few year's later when we drove through a snow storm to deliver your car to Virginia. Remember our drinking night at Old Glory in Georgetown? I walked by it Saturday night and couldn't believe we had ever been that young. And as I took a chilly look at the South Lawn of the White House, I recalled standing in almost the exact same place thinking how lonely the city looked right after 9-11. Clayton and I had a great time with great friends in a great city. But it made me miss you like crazy!
Speaking of Clayton, It's amazing to me that I have finally found my brown-haired boy (I upgraded from the brown eyes!) and you have yet to meet him. Remember all those late night talks, phone conversations, and emails where we dissected the male species and dreamt of who we would share our lives with? I think it was only a few years ago the last time we played MASH:) You always had a crush on someone new and I for so many years lived my crush life vicariously through you. Well this crush just ain't going away, Buggie. He's everything you could possibly want for me, everything I've ever wanted for myself. And I'm keeping him!
Work has been crazy. But isn't it always a little that way? Or, at least for me. But my priority rank for work has definitely changed over the last several years. And I have you to partially thank for that. I distinctly remember a conversation we had as we were driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains on a beautiful fall day. It was one of our birthday rendezvous adventures, I was about to turn 30. The week after that milestone I had to face some of the hardest decisions I'd ever been asked to make. And those decisions changed my life path forever. You were pretty harsh with me. And for the first time made me acknowledge that while I may have chosen medicine as my profession I didn't have to make it my life. It was a wake up call for me. And certainly helped me make my decision to leave Mansfield, take a sabbatical, and get my life back on track. So, in case I haven't said it previously, thank you:)
The holidays are upon us and I'm so looking forward to heading back to Missouri to spend them with the family. You wouldn't believe how big (and beautiful) the nieces are! Wanna know what I want for Christmas, Nat? To see your smiling face and hear your unmistakable laugh. To give my oldest friend the kind of hug that I reserve for my sisters. The kind of hug that feels a lot like home.
With love,
Amy
Thursday, December 9, 2010
it's a good day to be alive
Today's loves:
* mid-morning coffee break with Em
* wonderful little old ladies who tell me they don't know what they'd do without my "pretty, sweet face" smiling down on them each day
* organic beeswax chap stick
* Clayton getting home early from work and greeting me with smooches after a long day
* that super helpful wine guy at Whole Foods
* the smell of Nikki's homemade pesto
* leggings
* knowing there is just ONE more day to go in the Fall 2010 work marathon, vacation here I come!
* mid-morning coffee break with Em
* wonderful little old ladies who tell me they don't know what they'd do without my "pretty, sweet face" smiling down on them each day
* organic beeswax chap stick
* Clayton getting home early from work and greeting me with smooches after a long day
* that super helpful wine guy at Whole Foods
* the smell of Nikki's homemade pesto
* leggings
* knowing there is just ONE more day to go in the Fall 2010 work marathon, vacation here I come!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Well. Except for the stubbornly green grass and 70 degree weather;)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
pass the thin mints
I got asked twice - that's TWO times - today if I was preggers. Apparently I'm walking like I'm supporting a baby bump and my Wednesday clothing choice of tunic over jeans led people to assume that I was also trying to hide one. Just feeling a little fat and tired people, but thanks for playing.
Here's the real kicker: made me sad to set them straight.
I think Amy's got a little baby fever.
Here's the real kicker: made me sad to set them straight.
I think Amy's got a little baby fever.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
thanks giving
I saw my first patient of the day at about 20 minutes after 6 this morning. He was still pretty sleepy and our conversation was reflective of that. As I was leaving the room he made a comment about a medicine I'd given him the day before for a specific complaint. He thanked me. Told me that he was feeling much better.
These words stopped me just feet from the door. And they moved me. Simple words of thanks for what I considered a minor assist when compared to the issues keeping this man in the hospital. And then, "God bless you, Doctor."
Um. What? Had I inadvertently taken a slide (I did it, Clayton! A Sliders reference in my blog!) into another dimension? A place where people not only acknowledged and appreciated acts, but also verbalized their appreciation? What a wonderful place! Of course, I quickly slid back to my old world. A place of anger, frustration, and entitlement. But I'm keeping my early morning memory of another, more wonderful, world and carrying it with me throughout the rest of today.
So thanks, Mr N. And may God bless you as well.
These words stopped me just feet from the door. And they moved me. Simple words of thanks for what I considered a minor assist when compared to the issues keeping this man in the hospital. And then, "God bless you, Doctor."
Um. What? Had I inadvertently taken a slide (I did it, Clayton! A Sliders reference in my blog!) into another dimension? A place where people not only acknowledged and appreciated acts, but also verbalized their appreciation? What a wonderful place! Of course, I quickly slid back to my old world. A place of anger, frustration, and entitlement. But I'm keeping my early morning memory of another, more wonderful, world and carrying it with me throughout the rest of today.
So thanks, Mr N. And may God bless you as well.
Monday, November 22, 2010
the trickiest man in the world
Life has been busy. But not ridiculously busy. I try to remember the last 6 weeks and how I spent them and I just can't quite get there. Kind of like when you wake up hazy from a dream and try so hard to put all the details into focus.
I think my priorities are out of wack. I need to reexamine all the takers-up of my time and figure out where they need to be in my proverbial to do list.
Work. Haven't yet won the Power Ball (and that probably has very little to do with the fact that I haven't yet played the Power Ball) so this has to stay on the list. But maybe my time should be spent differently? Do I really need to get to the hospital every day at 6 am? I seem to have a lot of down time later in the day where I'm just waiting for the clock to strike 2 so I can make my exit. I'm definitely a morning person and so maybe this is really the best use of my time. The free hours in the late morning and early afternoon could be spent helping my partners or catching up on odds and ends, bills and blogs. Maybe I'll have to trial this one out . . .
Home. I enjoy cooking, enjoy preparing meals. Currently I try to plan out the week in food by Monday at the latest and hit up the grocery store. I like to try new things. And really love coming up with a menu, creating a presentation. And because I love it, I'll continue to do it. But maybe I'll only do it once a week. Maybe I'll let the rest of the week be covered by leftovers and the multitude of social engagements available to us. The ribbons and bows - flowers and place settings - aren't really desired (and thus not truly appreciated) by any one other than me. And even if I enjoy it, it's probably a cumulative drain that I need to consider cutting loose.
I need to read a book. I need to curl up in a big, comfy chair with a cup of tea and read a book.
I need to go for a walk. Ride a bike. I need to lace up my sneakers and explore my not quite new neighborhood while the air is crisp and the leaves are still valiantly clinging to their trees.
I need to call my Grandma. And my sisters. My nieces and my parents. I need to chat with them about the details of their lives and share with them the small moments of mine.
And I need to blog. I definitely need to blog.
I think my priorities are out of wack. I need to reexamine all the takers-up of my time and figure out where they need to be in my proverbial to do list.
Work. Haven't yet won the Power Ball (and that probably has very little to do with the fact that I haven't yet played the Power Ball) so this has to stay on the list. But maybe my time should be spent differently? Do I really need to get to the hospital every day at 6 am? I seem to have a lot of down time later in the day where I'm just waiting for the clock to strike 2 so I can make my exit. I'm definitely a morning person and so maybe this is really the best use of my time. The free hours in the late morning and early afternoon could be spent helping my partners or catching up on odds and ends, bills and blogs. Maybe I'll have to trial this one out . . .
Home. I enjoy cooking, enjoy preparing meals. Currently I try to plan out the week in food by Monday at the latest and hit up the grocery store. I like to try new things. And really love coming up with a menu, creating a presentation. And because I love it, I'll continue to do it. But maybe I'll only do it once a week. Maybe I'll let the rest of the week be covered by leftovers and the multitude of social engagements available to us. The ribbons and bows - flowers and place settings - aren't really desired (and thus not truly appreciated) by any one other than me. And even if I enjoy it, it's probably a cumulative drain that I need to consider cutting loose.
I need to read a book. I need to curl up in a big, comfy chair with a cup of tea and read a book.
I need to go for a walk. Ride a bike. I need to lace up my sneakers and explore my not quite new neighborhood while the air is crisp and the leaves are still valiantly clinging to their trees.
I need to call my Grandma. And my sisters. My nieces and my parents. I need to chat with them about the details of their lives and share with them the small moments of mine.
And I need to blog. I definitely need to blog.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
playing catch up
Um, where did September go?
So, the final outcome to our interrupted Championship game? Yeah. We're some winners. Again. And yours truly made a fine showing. Fall season, under way . . .
Work has been super crazy. That's all for now on that particular topic.
Had our happy, happy housewarming. It made it all seem more real, somehow. And it reminded me that I truly love having people in our home. So, locals come on out! And not so locals, come on out in a planned ahead/organized kind of way:) The guest room is officially open and ready for business!
Niece Ripley turned 2! Way to go little, bitty one! And she's rocking out her mid-toddler years with the most disgustingly cute pink and white checkered Vans thanks to her Aunt A and Uncle C:)
Made our way to SoCal for a wedding and did a few little side trips along the way. Beautiful weather and a beautiful bride. Not to mention, hot mineral springs and massages. Clayton and Casablanca. It was a great trip;)
Autumn (the season not the friend!) arrives in Dallas! The city weeps in gratitude!
And, here we are. The most wonderful month of the year.
OCTOBER WANTS:
1. pumpkins. lot's of pumpkins.
2. a stereotypically beautiful fall weekend in MO in a few days.
3. good family and friend time.
4. a "new" desk chair for the study.
5. nice 18 month mensiversary with Clayton.
6. fantastic costume idea that minimizes my booty.
7. one kick ass birthday.
So, the final outcome to our interrupted Championship game? Yeah. We're some winners. Again. And yours truly made a fine showing. Fall season, under way . . .
Work has been super crazy. That's all for now on that particular topic.
Had our happy, happy housewarming. It made it all seem more real, somehow. And it reminded me that I truly love having people in our home. So, locals come on out! And not so locals, come on out in a planned ahead/organized kind of way:) The guest room is officially open and ready for business!
Niece Ripley turned 2! Way to go little, bitty one! And she's rocking out her mid-toddler years with the most disgustingly cute pink and white checkered Vans thanks to her Aunt A and Uncle C:)
Made our way to SoCal for a wedding and did a few little side trips along the way. Beautiful weather and a beautiful bride. Not to mention, hot mineral springs and massages. Clayton and Casablanca. It was a great trip;)
Autumn (the season not the friend!) arrives in Dallas! The city weeps in gratitude!
And, here we are. The most wonderful month of the year.
OCTOBER WANTS:
1. pumpkins. lot's of pumpkins.
2. a stereotypically beautiful fall weekend in MO in a few days.
3. good family and friend time.
4. a "new" desk chair for the study.
5. nice 18 month mensiversary with Clayton.
6. fantastic costume idea that minimizes my booty.
7. one kick ass birthday.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
a vision in green
So. We had summer season kickball playoffs last night. The Go Go Gadget Balls of course rocked their way on through to the championship game. We were in the top of the 9th (second inning of "overtime") with 2 outs. No runners on. We'd just scored a run to put us ahead 3-2. And yours truly was up to kick. My adrenaline was pumping. Seriously pumping. I had a sudden vision of the most beautiful kick ever kicked. Well. By me anyway:) It would shoot just over the freakishly tall first base man's outstretched arms and land on that oh-so-happy side of the foul line. I'd run my over-excited little heart out. Straight down the chalk to the beautiful safety of the first base bag. I'd round the corner looking for an excuse to turn my super solid single into an ambitious double but would then ultimately decide to play it safe. My teammates would be so inspired that they in turn would offer up a few super solid singles. And then one of our big booted boys would bring us all in with an extremely well placed homer that had so far eluded us that night. We'd cushion up our advantage and when that final out came, we'd remind the other team that they were dealing with the defending champs and 3 up/3 down 'em. Perfection.
Instead, the lights went out.
Literally.
Look out Big Leballski. When we meet again next week to finish our game, look out.
;)
Instead, the lights went out.
Literally.
Look out Big Leballski. When we meet again next week to finish our game, look out.
;)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
loving my wireless network
Hello Tuesday morning!
I'm on float this week which translates into sleeping in and some good amy time before the drudgery of work creeps up on me in the afternoon. Yesterday morning was spent entirely in my pajamas. I wasn't feeling so great so I gave myself a few hours sans any degree of productivity. Today so far has only been slightly more lively. I got up when Clayton left for work. But only to make a pot of coffee and grab my lap top. Then it was back to bed to catch up on my email and get my daily fix of HGTV. Still in my pjs but feeling hopeful that this morning will have a little more weight to it.
Saturday is our next Supper Club. This month's theme is Italian (did I ever share pics from Moroccan night?) and I'm getting super excited. Clayton and I are in charge of the appetizer course and we're going all out. We've decided to do a bruschetta tasting. I think I mentioned in a recent post that I wanted to teach myself to bake Italian bread. Never got around to it on my week off but going to just wing it tomorrow or Thursday morning. Then we'll use the bread to make crostinis on Saturday for our bruschetta! We're also going to tackle homemade olive tapenade and possibly a fig jam. Woohoo! Our supper clubs are always very social and very fun. But I think my favorite part is the challenge I set for myself to try new things. To push the envelope a little. Makes me feel like I can attempt anything at least once:)
Whoa. Feeling a little energetic here as my 3rd cup of coffee is kicking in. I think I might put on real clothes. Maybe even leave the house. Or, something really crazy. I think I may go get a pedicure. And a manicure. Look out world!
I'm on float this week which translates into sleeping in and some good amy time before the drudgery of work creeps up on me in the afternoon. Yesterday morning was spent entirely in my pajamas. I wasn't feeling so great so I gave myself a few hours sans any degree of productivity. Today so far has only been slightly more lively. I got up when Clayton left for work. But only to make a pot of coffee and grab my lap top. Then it was back to bed to catch up on my email and get my daily fix of HGTV. Still in my pjs but feeling hopeful that this morning will have a little more weight to it.
Saturday is our next Supper Club. This month's theme is Italian (did I ever share pics from Moroccan night?) and I'm getting super excited. Clayton and I are in charge of the appetizer course and we're going all out. We've decided to do a bruschetta tasting. I think I mentioned in a recent post that I wanted to teach myself to bake Italian bread. Never got around to it on my week off but going to just wing it tomorrow or Thursday morning. Then we'll use the bread to make crostinis on Saturday for our bruschetta! We're also going to tackle homemade olive tapenade and possibly a fig jam. Woohoo! Our supper clubs are always very social and very fun. But I think my favorite part is the challenge I set for myself to try new things. To push the envelope a little. Makes me feel like I can attempt anything at least once:)
Whoa. Feeling a little energetic here as my 3rd cup of coffee is kicking in. I think I might put on real clothes. Maybe even leave the house. Or, something really crazy. I think I may go get a pedicure. And a manicure. Look out world!
Monday, August 23, 2010
goat cheese is good
One of my very favorite things about cohabing with Clayton is making us dinner most nights. I love planning out our week. Trying out new recipes. Setting a casual but super comforting table. Even when it's ridiculously easy - as it often is - I feel accomplished. I feel settled. I feel love and I feel loved. I'm nesting, ya'll. And I am so diggin' it.Saturday, August 21, 2010
a happy, happy heart
A fruitful day of organization does a girl so much good. Love, love, love.
Thanks for the technical assistance, Pickle;)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
myrtilles et peches, oh mon!
We're burning down here in the Lone Star State. Burning. A single day with a high only in the double digits would be very much appreciated. Apparently it's coming our way soon. Promises, promises. In the meantime: needed a little reminder of the nicer side of a Texas summer. Local peaches and blueberries anyone?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
times, they are a changin'
Clayton's asleep in the other room. And I love that. Because a late afternoon nap is totally his prerogative as an official resident of our already much beloved home. Day 2 of cohabitation has been lovely. No other word could better describe it. Waking up late in our ridiculously comfortable bed, brunch with friends, and an easy afternoon spent on the couch watching movies. Lovely. And about to get lovelier still as I break from blogging to start the getting ready process for our celebration dinner. We're getting all dressed up for what promises to be a truly inspired meal at a new place we've been meaning to try. A great end to a week away from the grind and a great beginning to Clayton's and my evolving relationship as roomies. Good stuff;)
Friday, August 6, 2010
no white flags here
Yesterday went to me. No question. Worried, however, that today might go the other way.
Off to a good me start with a very satisfying sleep in, freshly ground Oak Cliff roasted coffee, sweet iPod randomness, and no pressing need to change out of my pajamas. But up ahead there's a looming table delivery problem, anticipated hours spent packing up Clayton's apartment (cohabitation starts tomorrow!), a few separate feelings of obligation, and the unmistakable smell of a vacation week that's starting to get a little over ripe.
I think I'll take a happy stroll around my house, barefoot with a Donald Duck coffee mug in hand, and see if I can't find that pleased as punch feeling I was hoping for.
Afterall, I really am more of a no surrender kind of girl. Defeat just doesn't look that good on me.
Off to a good me start with a very satisfying sleep in, freshly ground Oak Cliff roasted coffee, sweet iPod randomness, and no pressing need to change out of my pajamas. But up ahead there's a looming table delivery problem, anticipated hours spent packing up Clayton's apartment (cohabitation starts tomorrow!), a few separate feelings of obligation, and the unmistakable smell of a vacation week that's starting to get a little over ripe.
I think I'll take a happy stroll around my house, barefoot with a Donald Duck coffee mug in hand, and see if I can't find that pleased as punch feeling I was hoping for.
Afterall, I really am more of a no surrender kind of girl. Defeat just doesn't look that good on me.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
marching forward
Managed to win a few battles, but as my week off nears it's end I fear I may be losing the war.
Most of Monday I spent at the grocery store and prepping for a Southwest themed dinner party. The food - Southwestern sloppy joes, cilantro cole slaw, and potato salad made a little kicky with the addition of a few cayenne peppers - turned out perfectly in my modest opinion. I pushed my personal spicy envelope to cater to some of my guests and everyone seemed happy with the resultant heat. But the overall evening was frustrating. Really frustrating.
I love cooking for people, having them in my home, entertaining. I told everyone that we had to eat at 6 because Clayton and I had to leave the house at 730 to make a 8 pm kickball game. I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear. 1 person offered to bring stuff to make frozen margaritas - yay! Another wanted to bring guac, chips, etc for pre dinner munchies - double yay! Yet another was supposed to do dessert but opted out which was completely fine.
But what time do you think my guests arrived? Margaritas arrived at 6 on the dot and apologized profusely as she walked in the door because she realized that she had misunderstood the timing. I, however, was plating dinner as she came in and we were able to sit down to eat shortly after. No biggie. Dessert then walked in at 620 while I was finishing my sloppy joe. Chips and dip got there at 625.
I love all these people. I love what we usually do which is sit around for hours enjoying each other. Getting a little tipsy on the drink/cocktail of the day. Instead I had to kick them all out at 730 and leave my kitchen a mess because of all the screwed up timing. And I really, really hate that. I know that none of them were being intentionally inconsiderate. It just left a really bad taste in my mouth. It took away all the fun. Maybe realizing that it all meant more to me than it did to them? I had even put a little cactus arrangement on the dining room table and wore my chili pepper apron that my Grandma made me. I really got into it - I love a good theme! And the only one who noticed was Clayton. And he's a boy. A really good, sweet boy. But still a boy. It all felt a little like wasted time. Ya know?
Gotta move on.
We won our kickball game and went out to celebrate afterwards. I possibly took it a tad too far (people kept buying me shots) and Wednesday was basically a wash as I spent the majority of it in my bed.
But today I'm taking back my vacation. I'm headed out to buy myself a cup of coffee. And maybe some eggs. And then it's on to a movie. Maybe a little shopping. Dinner tonight with Clayton and friends. Greek. Greek always make me happy:)
Look out Thursday. I'm a girl on a mission.
Most of Monday I spent at the grocery store and prepping for a Southwest themed dinner party. The food - Southwestern sloppy joes, cilantro cole slaw, and potato salad made a little kicky with the addition of a few cayenne peppers - turned out perfectly in my modest opinion. I pushed my personal spicy envelope to cater to some of my guests and everyone seemed happy with the resultant heat. But the overall evening was frustrating. Really frustrating.
I love cooking for people, having them in my home, entertaining. I told everyone that we had to eat at 6 because Clayton and I had to leave the house at 730 to make a 8 pm kickball game. I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear. 1 person offered to bring stuff to make frozen margaritas - yay! Another wanted to bring guac, chips, etc for pre dinner munchies - double yay! Yet another was supposed to do dessert but opted out which was completely fine.
But what time do you think my guests arrived? Margaritas arrived at 6 on the dot and apologized profusely as she walked in the door because she realized that she had misunderstood the timing. I, however, was plating dinner as she came in and we were able to sit down to eat shortly after. No biggie. Dessert then walked in at 620 while I was finishing my sloppy joe. Chips and dip got there at 625.
I love all these people. I love what we usually do which is sit around for hours enjoying each other. Getting a little tipsy on the drink/cocktail of the day. Instead I had to kick them all out at 730 and leave my kitchen a mess because of all the screwed up timing. And I really, really hate that. I know that none of them were being intentionally inconsiderate. It just left a really bad taste in my mouth. It took away all the fun. Maybe realizing that it all meant more to me than it did to them? I had even put a little cactus arrangement on the dining room table and wore my chili pepper apron that my Grandma made me. I really got into it - I love a good theme! And the only one who noticed was Clayton. And he's a boy. A really good, sweet boy. But still a boy. It all felt a little like wasted time. Ya know?
Gotta move on.
We won our kickball game and went out to celebrate afterwards. I possibly took it a tad too far (people kept buying me shots) and Wednesday was basically a wash as I spent the majority of it in my bed.
But today I'm taking back my vacation. I'm headed out to buy myself a cup of coffee. And maybe some eggs. And then it's on to a movie. Maybe a little shopping. Dinner tonight with Clayton and friends. Greek. Greek always make me happy:)
Look out Thursday. I'm a girl on a mission.
Monday, August 2, 2010
at full alert
I'm starting a little stay-cation action this morning. Work (and life in general) has just been ridiculously busy as of late. So the prospect of a week spent in whatever way I choose sounds like heaven. Of course, I've already got a list a mile long of stuff that really needs to get accomplished this week. And this mile-long list is at war with a much more modest list of wants:
I want to read a book while sipping homemade lemonade and laying on my brand new hammock.
I want to teach myself to bake bread for an upcoming Italian themed supper club later this month.
I want to go see a movie. All by myself.
And I want the time to walk around my house - just pleased as punch that it belongs to me.
I'll keep you updated on all the battle details!
I want to read a book while sipping homemade lemonade and laying on my brand new hammock.
I want to teach myself to bake bread for an upcoming Italian themed supper club later this month.
I want to go see a movie. All by myself.
And I want the time to walk around my house - just pleased as punch that it belongs to me.
I'll keep you updated on all the battle details!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
promises,promises
I swear I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. It's just this whole buying a house thing. It's kicking my ass. Seriously. Kicking my ASS.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
tuesday night
Something was a little funky with my whole wheat crust. Can't quite put my finger on it. But the farmer's market Italian sausage, my homemade marinara, and a semi-random blend of mozzarella and feta cheese? Spot on. Cooking is fun. Sometimes:)Monday, May 3, 2010
"i gave her my heart and she gave me a pen"
There was a brief few minutes of time yesterday when I was content. In a day filled with chaos and grating demands, I put pen to paper and communicated. And I was happy.
Friday, April 30, 2010
tgif
I was all excited to make dinner and then I got unexcited in a hurry. Next I thought, how about I pre-make my pastry dough for the mixed berry empanadas I'm planning for Sunday night dinner? Didn't take long before I was over that one too. Considered running to the store and picking up some super easy fluff of a novel. Then I simply couldn't be bothered. Just answered a page from the hospital - I diagnosed an upper extremity DVT and want to start anticoagulation on a patient and ortho says "not on my watch." It would appear, fine followers, that I'm now officially in one bad mood.
Monday, April 26, 2010
NOLA
Back almost 24 hours and I'm still beat-down exhausted. But I had such a good time. Amazing food. Excellent music. Super chill atmosphere. And I-can't-wait-until-they-move-back-to-Dallas friends. Happy anniversary, my love:)
(and thanks for the pictures, Brad!)
Monday, April 19, 2010
"Dallas is the new LA."
Went to Austin this weekend with Clayton to catch up with his "tribe." I love that visualization:)
He has a wide network of friends that he's accumulated from high school and beyond. It's hard for me to keep track of how everyone fits into the mix - they all seem like they've known each other forever. They've scattered, as old friends tend to do. But there's still a few here in Dallas. A pretty decent collection in Austin. And an inexplicable focus in the Los Angeles area. I know he misses them - even the ones that stayed local seem to be MIA most of the time. So I'm super glad that he got reconnected.
But, it made me feel kind of ancient. Ya know?
Maybe I'll just pretend that 32 is the new 28;)
He has a wide network of friends that he's accumulated from high school and beyond. It's hard for me to keep track of how everyone fits into the mix - they all seem like they've known each other forever. They've scattered, as old friends tend to do. But there's still a few here in Dallas. A pretty decent collection in Austin. And an inexplicable focus in the Los Angeles area. I know he misses them - even the ones that stayed local seem to be MIA most of the time. So I'm super glad that he got reconnected.
But, it made me feel kind of ancient. Ya know?
Maybe I'll just pretend that 32 is the new 28;)
Friday, April 9, 2010
what is . . . ?
This chair belonged to my paternal grandmother and it was one of three things that I chose to keep when she passed away when I was in college. I can still picture her sitting in it while she watched Jeopardy:)
For the last 6 plus years it's been sitting in a corner of my small apartment bedroom, covered by a floral sheet that (somewhat) coordinated with the rest of the room's decor. I uncovered it this morning to take a picture to send for an estimate from an area vintage furniture shop. As sort of a housewarming present to myself, I'd decided to get it reupholstered in a new, fun, modern fabric.
After I took the picture, I sat in it for a while and thought about my Grandma Rozelle. I think she would have loved me holding on to this chair but would have been all for me updating it in whatever way made me happy. Grandparents are great that way:)
You know what I think would make me most happy right now? Leaving it as is.
I think I'll give it a trial run here in my current place and see if I can picture it at home in my new home. The thing about new, fun, modern fabrics? There's always something new, fun, and modern around the corner. And for now I'm totally digging the retro, nostalgic feeling of it's orange and brown stripes.
It so makes me want to watch a little Jeopardy!
Miss you, Grandma . . .
absolutely gosh-wow
Currently reading the following 4 books:
Little Bee by Chris Cleave
Stephen King's On Writing
David McCullough's Great Bridge
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
I love having mornings off:)
Little Bee by Chris Cleave
Stephen King's On Writing
David McCullough's Great Bridge
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
I love having mornings off:)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
mornin' world
Slept in more than I should. Then upon waking moved from bed straight to couch with quilt in tow. Watched a bit of mindless TV in my favorite striped pajamas. Now caffeinating myself with a nice organic breakfast tea. In my beloved I NEED MY SPACE mug.
Let's roll, day. Let's roll.
Let's roll, day. Let's roll.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
yeah, that'll work
Is it just me, or is everyone else in the world ridiculously glad March is over?
That was one hell of a nasty month. Some highlights, for sure. But I think it's going to take all of April for me to truly recover.
Moving on . . .
During my junior year of high school I was on the debate team. I freakin' loved it. Our topic was immigration and my cross-x partner and I argued some ridiculous idea about letting in all the old Soviet nuclear scientists. We were saving the world from WW III!. I got to throw words like oblivion around as if I actually knew something other people didn't. I'm pretty sure my coach hated us, but we won pretty regularly. And when we were on the negative, look out. There wasn't anything I was better at than poking holes in someone else's logic. Unless it was word problems. Yeah, maybe I was better at word problems. Fully aware that I was something of a nerd. But, thanks.
Senior year was supposed to be more of the same. My partner had graduated, but I'd secured another. I was no longer designated a novice. I was ready. The topic came out and at first I was totally on board. My new partner and I actually started researching during the summer and we were pumped. Yes, still aware of the nerd factor. Again, thanks.
Debate quickly lost it's thrill however. And most of the blame lay with our topic. It just wasn't fun. And there weren't any good answers or solutions. So, I quit. Several weeks in, I said no to Debate and secured myself a lazy study hall instead. Best decision I made that fall by far.
The topic of that 95/96 debate year?
Health care.
God. I wish study hall was still an option.
That was one hell of a nasty month. Some highlights, for sure. But I think it's going to take all of April for me to truly recover.
Moving on . . .
During my junior year of high school I was on the debate team. I freakin' loved it. Our topic was immigration and my cross-x partner and I argued some ridiculous idea about letting in all the old Soviet nuclear scientists. We were saving the world from WW III!. I got to throw words like oblivion around as if I actually knew something other people didn't. I'm pretty sure my coach hated us, but we won pretty regularly. And when we were on the negative, look out. There wasn't anything I was better at than poking holes in someone else's logic. Unless it was word problems. Yeah, maybe I was better at word problems. Fully aware that I was something of a nerd. But, thanks.
Senior year was supposed to be more of the same. My partner had graduated, but I'd secured another. I was no longer designated a novice. I was ready. The topic came out and at first I was totally on board. My new partner and I actually started researching during the summer and we were pumped. Yes, still aware of the nerd factor. Again, thanks.
Debate quickly lost it's thrill however. And most of the blame lay with our topic. It just wasn't fun. And there weren't any good answers or solutions. So, I quit. Several weeks in, I said no to Debate and secured myself a lazy study hall instead. Best decision I made that fall by far.
The topic of that 95/96 debate year?
Health care.
God. I wish study hall was still an option.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
blog soup
am blogging soundtrack: Ingrid Michaelson's Girls and Boys am blogging moods: selfish and content am blogging attire: xl pink pj pants am blogging sustenance: super fat CM blueberry muffin and super tasty Mighty Leaf Organic Breakfast
It totally figures that the first morning in forever that I have the undeniable right to sleep in, my internal alarm clock went off just a little before 530. Damn Circadian rhythms.
Good news: I'm a rebel and I just turned over and went right back to sleep. 2 hours later . . .
So, as might have been gleaned from last night's post, I am well on my way to being a home owner. The house is beautiful and obviously meant to be mine. It was built in 1929, has a rock hard foundation, a few original galvanized steel pipes mixed in with updates, stunning hard wood floors, and a real (ie creepy) attic. I'm in love:)
Confession: I love singing Karaoke to The Way I Am and think I'll start trying harder to learn it on my mom's baritone ukulele.
Today my favorite patient is set to go home on Hospice. Yesterday I told him and his wife goodbye since I wasn't going to be there this morning. I told them it had been an honor to care for him and they told me it had been their blessing. Tears all around. They wished me luck with my young man and as I was leaving the room Mr Dignity added this with wet and shiny eyes: Does he cry? Never trust a man who doesn't have the ability to cry. You deserve better than that.
FYI: It turns out that the word anything isn't quite as empty as I thought.
Just a little bit of random everything thrown into a big copper pot.
Happy Monday:)
It totally figures that the first morning in forever that I have the undeniable right to sleep in, my internal alarm clock went off just a little before 530. Damn Circadian rhythms.
Good news: I'm a rebel and I just turned over and went right back to sleep. 2 hours later . . .
So, as might have been gleaned from last night's post, I am well on my way to being a home owner. The house is beautiful and obviously meant to be mine. It was built in 1929, has a rock hard foundation, a few original galvanized steel pipes mixed in with updates, stunning hard wood floors, and a real (ie creepy) attic. I'm in love:)
Confession: I love singing Karaoke to The Way I Am and think I'll start trying harder to learn it on my mom's baritone ukulele.
Today my favorite patient is set to go home on Hospice. Yesterday I told him and his wife goodbye since I wasn't going to be there this morning. I told them it had been an honor to care for him and they told me it had been their blessing. Tears all around. They wished me luck with my young man and as I was leaving the room Mr Dignity added this with wet and shiny eyes: Does he cry? Never trust a man who doesn't have the ability to cry. You deserve better than that.
FYI: It turns out that the word anything isn't quite as empty as I thought.
Just a little bit of random everything thrown into a big copper pot.
Happy Monday:)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
full like a baked potato
Today was a happy day.
Considering I woke up at 520 to be at work by six and saw 27 not-always-the-most-appreciative patients, that's saying a lot.
A nap post work. Arrival of Clayton. The gift of a book. Sunshine. Vintage clothing shopping for upcoming themed Supper Club. Truffle cheese bread and a beer at Eno's. Really decent latte at a new coffee shop in my hood. Nap number two. Brief and unsuccessful, but still somehow satisfying, social attempt at the Belmont. A plan B that led us to Central Market and delicious hummus. A full belly, a sweet boy, and the promise of a good night's sleep.
Yep. Pretty happy day.
It's just that they've been in sort of short supply lately. So I thought I'd better document it for posterity sake. I know. It's only a snapshot. But the thing is, this one might actually be frame-worthy.
Considering I woke up at 520 to be at work by six and saw 27 not-always-the-most-appreciative patients, that's saying a lot.
A nap post work. Arrival of Clayton. The gift of a book. Sunshine. Vintage clothing shopping for upcoming themed Supper Club. Truffle cheese bread and a beer at Eno's. Really decent latte at a new coffee shop in my hood. Nap number two. Brief and unsuccessful, but still somehow satisfying, social attempt at the Belmont. A plan B that led us to Central Market and delicious hummus. A full belly, a sweet boy, and the promise of a good night's sleep.
Yep. Pretty happy day.
It's just that they've been in sort of short supply lately. So I thought I'd better document it for posterity sake. I know. It's only a snapshot. But the thing is, this one might actually be frame-worthy.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
touched
Earlier this week I was asked to see a patient in the preop holding area. His orthopedic surgeon was planning on taking him to the OR for a very extensive resection of his left femur. The anesthesiologist was nervous because he hadn't been cleared for surgery by anyone and he had some new EKG findings - won't bore you with the details. Long preamble short, they needed me to clear him.
The background story on this patient is that within the last month he was diagnosed with a chondrosarcoma (cartilage/bone tumor) in his left leg - hence the need for this resection. Just last week he was found to have ridiculous numbers of mets to his lungs. At the same time, they found out that he had multiple pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lung) requiring high dose/long term blood thinners. Did I mention that he's a previous cancer survivor? Or that he happens to be one of the nicest men I've ever met in my life?
I went through the necessary steps to clear him for surgery and with each interaction grew more and more attached to him. Right before he went into surgery he thanked me for my "conscientious and compassionate care." He asked me if I was married and had a family of my own. When I told him that I wasn't married but did have someone special in my life, he told me to "tell him that he's a lucky man." And, of course, I did:)
He made it through surgery like a champ. His surgeon and I butted heads about what to do with his blood thinners - he wanted to decrease the dose significantly in an effort to minimize the postop bleeding risk and I was super hesitant to do so as it wouldn't be adequate treatment for his PEs. We finally agreed on full dose anti coagulation with a very short acting medication. We reasoned that if the undesirable happened, we'd turn it off and go from there.
Why is that those undesirable events always happen to the least deserving people?
Today we had a long, and very emotional, talk about our options. We came up with a less than ideal plan in an effort to save his leg. And we talked about his life and what he had left of it. As I was leaving the room he stopped me and asked, "How did your young man respond to me saying that he had himself a really good deal?" I assured him that it was well-received and he had adamantly agreed. With a simple, "Good" he closed his eyes and I left the room.
I won't ever forget this true gentleman and the dignity with which it is evident he has lived his life. Or the dignity with which he has started the process of leaving it.
The background story on this patient is that within the last month he was diagnosed with a chondrosarcoma (cartilage/bone tumor) in his left leg - hence the need for this resection. Just last week he was found to have ridiculous numbers of mets to his lungs. At the same time, they found out that he had multiple pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lung) requiring high dose/long term blood thinners. Did I mention that he's a previous cancer survivor? Or that he happens to be one of the nicest men I've ever met in my life?
I went through the necessary steps to clear him for surgery and with each interaction grew more and more attached to him. Right before he went into surgery he thanked me for my "conscientious and compassionate care." He asked me if I was married and had a family of my own. When I told him that I wasn't married but did have someone special in my life, he told me to "tell him that he's a lucky man." And, of course, I did:)
He made it through surgery like a champ. His surgeon and I butted heads about what to do with his blood thinners - he wanted to decrease the dose significantly in an effort to minimize the postop bleeding risk and I was super hesitant to do so as it wouldn't be adequate treatment for his PEs. We finally agreed on full dose anti coagulation with a very short acting medication. We reasoned that if the undesirable happened, we'd turn it off and go from there.
Why is that those undesirable events always happen to the least deserving people?
Today we had a long, and very emotional, talk about our options. We came up with a less than ideal plan in an effort to save his leg. And we talked about his life and what he had left of it. As I was leaving the room he stopped me and asked, "How did your young man respond to me saying that he had himself a really good deal?" I assured him that it was well-received and he had adamantly agreed. With a simple, "Good" he closed his eyes and I left the room.
I won't ever forget this true gentleman and the dignity with which it is evident he has lived his life. Or the dignity with which he has started the process of leaving it.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
spring has sprung
It's been a busy couple of weeks. An emotionally and physically exhausting couple of weeks. These past 10 days have been filled with some of the lowest points of my life. But also, blessedly, with some of the highest.
The first week in March I was able to stay sane because of the amazing friends and family I have the pleasure of sharing my life with. I was able to go to work each day. Able to see people socially. Able to write about related (read: heartbreakingly serious) and non related (read: frivolous warm fuzzy) things. Able to still be me.
I lost me for a little while after that. And while the same amazing friends and family were still right by my side, there was a big ol' hole in my heart.
A boy sized hole.
A Clayton sized hole.
Late last week I made a choice. And I hope with everything that I am that I made the right one. Every day since, I've reaffirmed that choice. And I've been happy. Scared and more than a little bit of a doubter. But, happy.
Clayton: I choose you. And I'm going to keep right on choosing you. For at least the next 74 plus years. After that? Things are so up for renegotiation:)
The first week in March I was able to stay sane because of the amazing friends and family I have the pleasure of sharing my life with. I was able to go to work each day. Able to see people socially. Able to write about related (read: heartbreakingly serious) and non related (read: frivolous warm fuzzy) things. Able to still be me.
I lost me for a little while after that. And while the same amazing friends and family were still right by my side, there was a big ol' hole in my heart.
A boy sized hole.
A Clayton sized hole.
Late last week I made a choice. And I hope with everything that I am that I made the right one. Every day since, I've reaffirmed that choice. And I've been happy. Scared and more than a little bit of a doubter. But, happy.
Clayton: I choose you. And I'm going to keep right on choosing you. For at least the next 74 plus years. After that? Things are so up for renegotiation:)
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
thursday
Time for a distraction.
A notice from vitals.com came over our office fax this week. Apparently a prior patient of mine "rated" me and the care I provided. Here's what they had to say:
Dr. Haller is amazing and a life saver! Her personality matches her skills and good looks! She is calm, compassionate, brilliant, sweet, and so great at what she does. Anyone would be lucky to have her as their doctor. I'm glad I am!
Well. At least there are some intelligent people in this world;)
A notice from vitals.com came over our office fax this week. Apparently a prior patient of mine "rated" me and the care I provided. Here's what they had to say:
Dr. Haller is amazing and a life saver! Her personality matches her skills and good looks! She is calm, compassionate, brilliant, sweet, and so great at what she does. Anyone would be lucky to have her as their doctor. I'm glad I am!
Well. At least there are some intelligent people in this world;)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
wednesday
Pseudo-random guy: Where's your boyfriend tonight?
Me: Uhhhhhh. He's, uh, somewhere else.
Pseudo-random guy: Oh. I thought you might not be together anymore.
Oh-my-gosh-the-most-awkward-silence-EVER.
Pseudo-random guy: Well. He seemed nice.
God. I hate this.
Me: Uhhhhhh. He's, uh, somewhere else.
Pseudo-random guy: Oh. I thought you might not be together anymore.
Oh-my-gosh-the-most-awkward-silence-EVER.
Pseudo-random guy: Well. He seemed nice.
God. I hate this.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
tuesday
Today seemed like it was going the right way. It's just amazing how everything can change so quickly.
Monday, March 1, 2010
monday
This morning I thought the world was angry as piss at me. You ever get the feeling that, seriously, the world wants you to suffer? That's how I felt this morning. There is just so much going on in my life and I am beyond stressed out. I actually patted myself on the back yesterday for how well I was holding it all together. I was shocked that I didn't have a major breakdown. I did have to unload on my (amazing) sisters more than once. But, otherwise, I did the zen thing and made it through most of the day. Killer headache snuck up on me towards the end and my bed was like a much anticipated cocoon when I finally made it between my freshly laundered sheets. Then this morning, WHAM. And not the band.
I felt like my world was just disintegrating around me.
I was so unbent that I actually posted something real on my facebook status. I rarely give people that kind of access to emotions or feelings that are indicative of anything other than I've got everything under control.
I prayed so hard to God on the drive into work today. Asking for strength, begging for peace. And I cried huge tears the entire time.
This is what I know:
God puts people in your life that can give you comfort without actually knowing that you require it. And I work with some of those people.
My family has no comparison. They support and love like no others. And I'm blessed by them daily.
I have some of the most incredible people on the planet as friends. And I wouldn't trade a single one of them for all the life perfection I could handle.
God listens to our prayers. And sometimes, sometimes he answers them.
I felt like my world was just disintegrating around me.
I was so unbent that I actually posted something real on my facebook status. I rarely give people that kind of access to emotions or feelings that are indicative of anything other than I've got everything under control.
I prayed so hard to God on the drive into work today. Asking for strength, begging for peace. And I cried huge tears the entire time.
This is what I know:
God puts people in your life that can give you comfort without actually knowing that you require it. And I work with some of those people.
My family has no comparison. They support and love like no others. And I'm blessed by them daily.
I have some of the most incredible people on the planet as friends. And I wouldn't trade a single one of them for all the life perfection I could handle.
God listens to our prayers. And sometimes, sometimes he answers them.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
pura vida
COSTA RICA part 2
Most of our days were spent in lazy bliss.
Most of our days were spent in lazy bliss.
Wake up whenever we felt so compelled. Throw on the bathing suit/cover up combo de jour. Let Roberto make me an omelet. Carve out the perfect poolside spot - not too much sun for me, not too much shade for him. Secure first fruity beverage of the day. Transition to beer for sustainability purposes. Read. People watch. Nap. Listen to music. People watch some more. Visit the beach for either a) walk along the shore or b) Lilly/Flora massage. Ok. And c) more people watching. Then more fruity drinks. Lunch at some point. Lots of smooches. Look for Howler monkeys in the trees. Change into something pretty for dinner (me). Take another nap (him). Food. More drinks. Another walk on the beach. Again with the smooches. Bedtime.
Like I said. Lazy bliss.
"Look, there's a band!"
Cosi Fan Tutte. My first opera. I am seriously in love with the whole experience. And the new Winspear here in Dallas is a must see - truly. Thanks, Clayton:)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
getting there
COSTA RICA part 1
We set an alarm for 330 to make our 600 flight. I'm just never quite sure how early morning at the airport's gonna go. Know what I mean? Will it be super quick because no one is there? Or will it be ridiculously slow because no one is there?
We set an alarm for 330 to make our 600 flight. I'm just never quite sure how early morning at the airport's gonna go. Know what I mean? Will it be super quick because no one is there? Or will it be ridiculously slow because no one is there?
(Made it with enough time to enjoy a super greasy McDonald's breakfast prior to boarding.)
Then there's the attire dilemma whenever departing and arriving in places with completely different climate situations. Freeze on the mad dash from car to airport? Or sweat through layers of clothes upon arrival to open air tropical airport?
(Ended up doing a little bit of both.)
Upon check in: no first class upgrade for us. Damn that Clayton and his non-elite status. If he weren't so cute with his "I never sleep on planes" declarations just prior to zonking out on said planes, I'd consider looking elsewhere.
[Just kidding, my love;)]
To Miami and the Eastern time zone. Then back to Central time and Liberia, Costa Rica.
(Did I ever mention how ridiculously pleased I was with our travel agent? Huh. That's weird.)
Customs at a - really small - foreign airport. Followed by the confusion of locating our previously arranged transport. Then a bouncy trip along Costa Rican country roads through the dry, dry Guanacaste region. Good times. A lot of good time.
(We saw our 12 hour travel mark come and go.)
But then, on arrival -
(wait for it)
Rum punch, an incredible breeze, and the ocean.
Yeah. That's the stuff.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
not for the faint of heart
*Disclaimer: the following post may very well have information about me that you really could have lived your life without knowing. Just thought I'd give you a heads up!*
I am 32 years old and had never had a bikini wax.
There, I admit it. It just never seemed to me like a) a necessary evil or b) worthy of my time and money. Some additional background: I hate shaving my legs. Really, really hate it. Especially in the winter when my skin is so ridiculously dry. Clayton and I are going to Costa Rica next week and I decided a month or so ago that maybe I'd give waxing a try so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving while on our vacation. Thought that since I had already committed to a certain level of discomfort, I'd go for the whole shebang. Well. Not the whole shebang:)
Went to see Annie (my much beloved facialist) this morning to do the deed. In a lot of ways it was not nearly as bad as I had feared. Annie and I chatted pretty much the entire time about lots of random things and it worked perfectly as a distraction. Most of it honestly wasn't that painful. Not pleasant by any means. But not exactly painful either.
As she was finishing up what I thought was my bikini area, I considered myself home free. Then the fated words "now I'll start the bikini line." Um, sorry? Where the hell were you before? When I booked this appointment last month, the receptionist was very clear with me about my bikini wax options and I -with a rare certainty- chose the most modest, least invasive style.
Holy moly. Annie and I now have a completely different relationship. Wowzers.
Yeah, you read that right.
Wowzers.
I am 32 years old and had never had a bikini wax.
There, I admit it. It just never seemed to me like a) a necessary evil or b) worthy of my time and money. Some additional background: I hate shaving my legs. Really, really hate it. Especially in the winter when my skin is so ridiculously dry. Clayton and I are going to Costa Rica next week and I decided a month or so ago that maybe I'd give waxing a try so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving while on our vacation. Thought that since I had already committed to a certain level of discomfort, I'd go for the whole shebang. Well. Not the whole shebang:)
Went to see Annie (my much beloved facialist) this morning to do the deed. In a lot of ways it was not nearly as bad as I had feared. Annie and I chatted pretty much the entire time about lots of random things and it worked perfectly as a distraction. Most of it honestly wasn't that painful. Not pleasant by any means. But not exactly painful either.
As she was finishing up what I thought was my bikini area, I considered myself home free. Then the fated words "now I'll start the bikini line." Um, sorry? Where the hell were you before? When I booked this appointment last month, the receptionist was very clear with me about my bikini wax options and I -with a rare certainty- chose the most modest, least invasive style.
Holy moly. Annie and I now have a completely different relationship. Wowzers.
Yeah, you read that right.
Wowzers.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
the big chill
I'd like to blame my post-dinner coffee. But I know that poor little cup of caffeine doesn't deserve it. Falling asleep wasn't an issue. It's the staying asleep that turned out to be a problem. Up for three hours now and just can't get my brain to turn off.
A while ago someone fed me a line about being perfect, inquiring about any hidden faults. (I know, I know. Where to begin, right?) I responded that I have really, really high expectations. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of him. But it's unfortunately very true.
I alternate between feeling these expectations are legitimate and feeling guilty that I want and/or need so much. I'm not sure how one knows whether or not their expectations are fair. How you're supposed to know when it's all too much. Is it only too much when expectations aren't met? When someone fails you? Is it ok to have just about any expectation as long as it's verbalized? Or is any expectation you have of someone other than yourself just a big set-up for disappointment? I used to think it was ok to expect a lot from people because I never expected anything of someone that I didn't also expect from myself. Is that selfish? Self-centered? Naive? Just plain wrong?
I once read something about the difference between having expectations and being expectant. I think I even tried to blog about it but couldn't quite get my head around it. At the time, I wondered if this wasn't the answer to all my problems. The sure fire way to weed disappointment from my life. If you never have expectations from people or situations, those people and situations can't fail you. Can't hurt you.
Why does even the idea of that just sound so cold and lonely?
A while ago someone fed me a line about being perfect, inquiring about any hidden faults. (I know, I know. Where to begin, right?) I responded that I have really, really high expectations. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of him. But it's unfortunately very true.
I alternate between feeling these expectations are legitimate and feeling guilty that I want and/or need so much. I'm not sure how one knows whether or not their expectations are fair. How you're supposed to know when it's all too much. Is it only too much when expectations aren't met? When someone fails you? Is it ok to have just about any expectation as long as it's verbalized? Or is any expectation you have of someone other than yourself just a big set-up for disappointment? I used to think it was ok to expect a lot from people because I never expected anything of someone that I didn't also expect from myself. Is that selfish? Self-centered? Naive? Just plain wrong?
I once read something about the difference between having expectations and being expectant. I think I even tried to blog about it but couldn't quite get my head around it. At the time, I wondered if this wasn't the answer to all my problems. The sure fire way to weed disappointment from my life. If you never have expectations from people or situations, those people and situations can't fail you. Can't hurt you.
Why does even the idea of that just sound so cold and lonely?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
good UOP and just 9 more minutes . . .
Still not completely back to baseline in the health department but feeling much, much better. Actually managed to make it to the gym on Tuesday and planning a repeat when I get off work this afternoon. Got back on track with my December and January habits and my February habits are off to an ok start.
Bad Habit: snoozing. Good Habit: H2O. I'll expound.
I'm a snoozer. I average 4-5 snoozes a morning which accounts for 36 to 45 extra minutes each day. The problem is that I set my alarm based on the habit. You know what I mean? I'm super speedy getting ready for work in the morning - gotta love scrubs! - and I usually only need a total of 45 minutes from bed to office. I get to work at 6:30, indicating the need for a 5:45 wake time. But I was setting my alarm for 5:15. And it's 10 min fast. See the problem? I mean, let's face it. Snooze sleep is shitty sleep. Right? So this month I've reset my alarm clock for 5:45. It's still 10 minutes fast which allows for a single snooze if desperately needed or a little extra time in the office preparing for my day. So far, so good.
And on to the water. Gave up pop back in December and have drastically cut back on my coffee addiction. But I never really replaced that previous intake with anything. I was getting really dehydrated! I swear I actually did go to med school. So now drinking almost ridiculous amounts of water. Trying for 8 glasses a day on average. I still feel dry (damn this winter) but have started to reclaim a more normal micturition schedule. Good job, me:)
Bad Habit: snoozing. Good Habit: H2O. I'll expound.
I'm a snoozer. I average 4-5 snoozes a morning which accounts for 36 to 45 extra minutes each day. The problem is that I set my alarm based on the habit. You know what I mean? I'm super speedy getting ready for work in the morning - gotta love scrubs! - and I usually only need a total of 45 minutes from bed to office. I get to work at 6:30, indicating the need for a 5:45 wake time. But I was setting my alarm for 5:15. And it's 10 min fast. See the problem? I mean, let's face it. Snooze sleep is shitty sleep. Right? So this month I've reset my alarm clock for 5:45. It's still 10 minutes fast which allows for a single snooze if desperately needed or a little extra time in the office preparing for my day. So far, so good.
And on to the water. Gave up pop back in December and have drastically cut back on my coffee addiction. But I never really replaced that previous intake with anything. I was getting really dehydrated! I swear I actually did go to med school. So now drinking almost ridiculous amounts of water. Trying for 8 glasses a day on average. I still feel dry (damn this winter) but have started to reclaim a more normal micturition schedule. Good job, me:)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
get those housewarming gifts ready
am blogging sustenance: Mighty Leaf Organic Breakfast Tea
am blogging soundtrack: HGTV's Holmes on Homes (Yeah. I know.)
Have an extremely busy day of brunch, massages, and possibly a movie planned. Not quite sure how I'll make it through:) But, seriously? Just trying to take it super easy while making it out into the world at the same time. Suspect that so much time off my couch will leave me exhausted by mid-afternoon. I hate being sick. Even the recovery time sucks. Which is why I'm reentering life with a few of my favorite things:)
As you might have gathered from my choice of blogging soundtrack above, I have a new addiction and it is called HGTV. This has slowly become my go-to channel when looking for a way to pass a random available hour. But over the past 48 hours it's become so much more. Even I can't sleep for 18 hours a day. So my sick days included a lot of cuddling up on my couch with my favorite flannel pajamas, a big mug of tea, one of Grandma's quilts, and the priceless advice of some of my new best friends.
Mike Holmes taught me how to build a garage and renovate a basement, the right way. Sandra Rinomato has loaded me up with tons of helpful hints for buying my first home. Jamie Durie makes me want my own outdoor living space so badly it hurts. And David Bromstad has given me some wild ideas on color. They've been great. They're been entertaining. I guess what they've really been is inspiring.
So. You're reading it here first, folks. I'm going on a house hunt. And I can't wait:)
am blogging soundtrack: HGTV's Holmes on Homes (Yeah. I know.)
Have an extremely busy day of brunch, massages, and possibly a movie planned. Not quite sure how I'll make it through:) But, seriously? Just trying to take it super easy while making it out into the world at the same time. Suspect that so much time off my couch will leave me exhausted by mid-afternoon. I hate being sick. Even the recovery time sucks. Which is why I'm reentering life with a few of my favorite things:)
As you might have gathered from my choice of blogging soundtrack above, I have a new addiction and it is called HGTV. This has slowly become my go-to channel when looking for a way to pass a random available hour. But over the past 48 hours it's become so much more. Even I can't sleep for 18 hours a day. So my sick days included a lot of cuddling up on my couch with my favorite flannel pajamas, a big mug of tea, one of Grandma's quilts, and the priceless advice of some of my new best friends.
Mike Holmes taught me how to build a garage and renovate a basement, the right way. Sandra Rinomato has loaded me up with tons of helpful hints for buying my first home. Jamie Durie makes me want my own outdoor living space so badly it hurts. And David Bromstad has given me some wild ideas on color. They've been great. They're been entertaining. I guess what they've really been is inspiring.
So. You're reading it here first, folks. I'm going on a house hunt. And I can't wait:)
Friday, January 29, 2010
now, about that hero I mentioned . . .
I'm sure he'll find this at least a little embarrassing, but I'm banking on him forgetting about the existence of my humble little blog. I just got the following email from Clayton:
Dearest Amy,
I hope your day is going well and you didn't drown in your sleep; but got tons of good reparative zzz's. I love you and can't wait to see you tonight. If you are still feeling sick, I don't think I'll sleep over, just so I don't get sick/keep you up/have you keep me up, but in the morning call me when you wake up and I'll head over to you so either we can get breakfast or I'll bring it to you. I brought the cold and sinus balm that you got me to work, so I can head straight from here to you and rub you down.
Very Much in Love,
Clayton
I'm a very lucky -although still a little on the snotty side- girl:)
Dearest Amy,
I hope your day is going well and you didn't drown in your sleep; but got tons of good reparative zzz's. I love you and can't wait to see you tonight. If you are still feeling sick, I don't think I'll sleep over, just so I don't get sick/keep you up/have you keep me up, but in the morning call me when you wake up and I'll head over to you so either we can get breakfast or I'll bring it to you. I brought the cold and sinus balm that you got me to work, so I can head straight from here to you and rub you down.
Very Much in Love,
Clayton
I'm a very lucky -although still a little on the snotty side- girl:)
cabin fever
It's cold and rainy and I feel like crap. Welcome to my pity party. Can I get you a drink?
Went home early from work today for the second day in a row. I'm such a slacker. My partners have been great, letting me cut out early after I've seen all my peops. And how do I thank them? By leaving lots of amy's-sick cooties in my wake. Nice, huh? I think they were all just really thankful that I made it in each morning to see my share of our 120 plus patients before crying uncle. Wondering if my patients are feeling that same level of appreciation . . .
Was supposed to road trip to Houston this weekend for TC's baby shower. Now that's out and I feel terrible about missing the opportunity to see Leticia and her baby bump. But there's no way I'm letting little Mexi-melt be exposed to my current brand of nasty:(
Feeling miserable but also extremely antsy. Just going a little stir crazy, ya know? Counting on Clayton rescuing me from myself when he gets off work tonight. My hero:)
My good habits have been suffering this week while I've been sick. Really hard to convince yourself that 50 crunches are necessary when you're hacking up a lung. Hoping that I can get back on track soon . . . Still haven't decided what to add in for February.
Wow. This was all a little depressing. Should have offered you guys a double.
Went home early from work today for the second day in a row. I'm such a slacker. My partners have been great, letting me cut out early after I've seen all my peops. And how do I thank them? By leaving lots of amy's-sick cooties in my wake. Nice, huh? I think they were all just really thankful that I made it in each morning to see my share of our 120 plus patients before crying uncle. Wondering if my patients are feeling that same level of appreciation . . .
Was supposed to road trip to Houston this weekend for TC's baby shower. Now that's out and I feel terrible about missing the opportunity to see Leticia and her baby bump. But there's no way I'm letting little Mexi-melt be exposed to my current brand of nasty:(
Feeling miserable but also extremely antsy. Just going a little stir crazy, ya know? Counting on Clayton rescuing me from myself when he gets off work tonight. My hero:)
My good habits have been suffering this week while I've been sick. Really hard to convince yourself that 50 crunches are necessary when you're hacking up a lung. Hoping that I can get back on track soon . . . Still haven't decided what to add in for February.
Wow. This was all a little depressing. Should have offered you guys a double.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
buliding a negotiation
Last week Clayton and I had a fight. Well, several in fact. We're better than ever now and - while very important at the time - the details aren't all that relevant to the purpose of this post. These fights were long distant as I'd made the trek to central Florida to check in on little sister Sarah. While wasting time at the Orlando Airport prior to my flight back to Texas, I found a book. A really, really great book.
Why Him? Why Her? is written by Helen Fisher and it's enlightening. Seriously. It places people in 4 primary personality groups and sort of dissects who and how each of the groups love. Some of it is a little on the cheesy side but other parts are very nearly inspiring. For me, the worth of the book can be summed up by this: Instead of asking Clayton to analyze with me every small nuance of our fight - which is the way I usually roll - I just came home and told him I loved him. And we were both more than ok with that.
Why Him? Why Her? is written by Helen Fisher and it's enlightening. Seriously. It places people in 4 primary personality groups and sort of dissects who and how each of the groups love. Some of it is a little on the cheesy side but other parts are very nearly inspiring. For me, the worth of the book can be summed up by this: Instead of asking Clayton to analyze with me every small nuance of our fight - which is the way I usually roll - I just came home and told him I loved him. And we were both more than ok with that.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
l'amour de ma vie
am blogging soundtrack: the sweet randomness of my iPod
am blogging sustenance: a ten-cup pot of Allegro Celebration Caffe
All the trappings were in place. We were both wearing finery reserved for special occasions. Finery so reserved that this was actually only the second time I'd seen him in a suit. To compliment, I had donned my favorite Audrey Hepburn-inspired LBD. We had chosen a locale very appropriate for a celebration. Fancy French food with a tuxedoed wait staff. There was a champagne cart. A palate-cleansing egg custard courtesy of our chef. Exquisitely prepared rabbit. Beautiful lamb chops and Paris-worthy duck. And, of course, goat cheese. Eventually, a dark chocolate bomb with pear and passion fruit. A vintage port. All accompanied by the most attentive yet discrete service possible.
My favorite part about all of it? Great conversation with an incredible man. Conversation that would have been just as fun and stimulating if we'd decided to celebrate with burgers and beer instead of confit and champagne. Equally at home at both Angry Dog and Aurora. Don't get me wrong, the trappings were nice. Very, very nice. But at the end of the day, all I really need is that great conversation with that incredible man.
am blogging sustenance: a ten-cup pot of Allegro Celebration Caffe
All the trappings were in place. We were both wearing finery reserved for special occasions. Finery so reserved that this was actually only the second time I'd seen him in a suit. To compliment, I had donned my favorite Audrey Hepburn-inspired LBD. We had chosen a locale very appropriate for a celebration. Fancy French food with a tuxedoed wait staff. There was a champagne cart. A palate-cleansing egg custard courtesy of our chef. Exquisitely prepared rabbit. Beautiful lamb chops and Paris-worthy duck. And, of course, goat cheese. Eventually, a dark chocolate bomb with pear and passion fruit. A vintage port. All accompanied by the most attentive yet discrete service possible.
My favorite part about all of it? Great conversation with an incredible man. Conversation that would have been just as fun and stimulating if we'd decided to celebrate with burgers and beer instead of confit and champagne. Equally at home at both Angry Dog and Aurora. Don't get me wrong, the trappings were nice. Very, very nice. But at the end of the day, all I really need is that great conversation with that incredible man.
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