"What happened to us?"

I just got a call from a guy I dated earlier this year - let's call him Mr Carwash. Hadn't talked to him in a while. We just kinda fizzled out, know what I mean? Well, ok. It was a deliberate fizzle on my part. Anyway. So, he calls out of the blue and says "Hey, what happened to us?" I don't even remember exactly how I responded to this. I really had no desire to talk to him - only answered the phone because he called THREE TIMES IN A ROW. What happened to us? Where should I begin? Better yet, I won't even get started. Because I've moved on and I just don't care anymore. But, the question got me to thinking in more global terms . . .

Why do people have such a hard time talking to each other? Why are we so afraid to say what we are thinking? Are we afraid of confrontation? Afraid of the truth? Afraid of hurting someone? Or just afraid of opening ourselves up to venerability? To putting ourselves out there. Why do we let the fear of what others might think dictate what we do? What we say.

I hope everyone has a least one person in their lives that they feel they can say anything to. I have my sisters. And I have a lot of really great friends. But even with them I choose certain people with whom to discuss certain things. "Knowing my audience," as one particular friend might say. Or, at least I think he might say. Don't really know for sure because I've never talked to him about these thoughts. About these questions. Why?

No answers here tonight, readers. As has been my recent M.O., just a lot of questions . . .

May be time for a nap . . .

So. My IM certification boards are coming up in a frighteningly short amount of time. Seems like the perfect opportunity to further procrastinate the intense studying I should be engaged in and update my little blog . . .

It amazes me how people can completely ruin my day with a careless comment or insensitive remark. How they can make me feel like I've completely wasted my time in my efforts to comfort or reassure them. Maybe more amazing is that I am still so affected by these people. Where is that thickened skin I was supposed to acquire? Where is the disillusionment I'm supposed to now be plagued with? Why, despite the seeming never ending beat down, am I still attached to my idealism? Why the almost desperate need for job satisfaction and the continued striving towards beneficence?

After a 12-plus hour day (not yet ended), following a near sleepless 24 hour call, I'm not sure I know the answer. Think I'll just have to get back to you on that.

They used to call me "Sunshine"

There are some things in life that when experienced or remembered make you smile in a really peaceful and satisfied way.

Surely the list differs for each individual. Here's a sample of mine.

1. Phone calls from friends who no longer live 15 minutes away.
2. A casual and relaxing dinner with great company.
3. First kisses.

There are too many wonderful moments in life for me to spend so much time concentrating on the crap that makes me frown. Here's to keeping things in perspective!

All in the Family

Day 7 and the last day of our vacation has arrived. The morning has been filled with packing, cleaning, and saying our goodbyes. You may have noticed that no actual descriptions or real photographic evidence of our beach time have been made available via this blog. So, it turns out that a nice secluded beach vacation is often accompanied by inconsistent Internet availability. The end result? I'm a little behind. Let me make it up to you . . .

Once landed in Tallahassee, Sarah and I settled in for the aforementioned 5 hour wait for the family. My multi-talented little sister spent a significant amount of this time attempting to fix my suitcase that the airline had thoughtlessly broken on our trip. Sarah was unsuccessful despite a valiant effort. We decided to spent the rest of our time more efficiently - we headed to the bar!

We were eventually rescued from boredom (or in SJ's case, an "open-mouth" nap) by the arrival of our Missouri family. And then we were on the road!

We joined up with the rest of the gang . . . vacation already in progress.

We rapidly joined in the fun. Commencing with eating, drinking, and beaching. For any that may be reading this blog that have known me for 10 plus years you may recall that the sun and I usually don't get along. No matter how hard I try to limit my exposure, no matter how hard I work to apply my SPF 50 evenly. No matter. All my hard work down the drain - I still ended up with the craziest sunburn since Florida '97! Sorry, didn't photograph this one for posterity:)

So, we left the beach for a day. Ate a little seafood at the Marina. Did a little shopping in a neighboring town. And of course, lathered on the aloe vera!

We eventually went back to the sun and continued to eat like kings and drink like fishes. One memorable and highly entertaining evening we decided to play a classic Haller family game we call spoons. Do you know it? Here's a little taste . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blcBBX7HnWk

After we got a couple games under our belts things got a little on the competitive side. It must be said: I rock spoons. Normally. I blame my fall from the top and the oh-so-excellent margaritas my cousin Julie kept-a-coming. So what do a couple of girls used to winning do? (Julie also ingesting large quantities of assorted beverages and also early out of the game. Connection?) Loser shots! The whole family got in on it . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gmtfFI9_tg

Twin sister Carrie ended up the undisputed champion of game night. As a kindergarten teacher you can tell how much she values good sportsmanship . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJjjHRYjd4s

Seemed to be quite a bit of lounging around the next day . . . :)

The rest of our days were spent much as the previous: sun and sand, food and drink, family and fun. We played guitar hero. We read Harry Potter. We had a ball!

So,family. How about it? Same time, same place next year? Meet ya there:)

the great Haller mind meld . . .

It is now day number 5 of The Vacation and things are progressing nicely. Our days have been filled with sun and sand, with food and laughter. It has occurred to me that perhaps you'd all like to know the players?

Coming in as the matriarch of the family we have Grandma Marge. Then we have Marge's two daughters - my Aunt Dee and my mother Debbie. Uncle Ed (married to Aunt Dee) with daughter Julie and son Jason. Julie's family is present as well - husband Steve with children Max and Samantha. Jason's wife Gerri. Uncle Ed's brother Wayne and his family joined the party too! And then, of course, we have the rest of my immediate family.

Along with my mother, my twin sister Carrie and my younger (aforementioned) sister Sarah are also here and accounted for. Which next brings us to our little lives of the party: my nieces Jacelynn and Myla.

Only my dad (Mike), my Uncle Dave, and my brother-in-law Casey were unable to make it. They're back home keeping the world in order why we play around down here!

So the cast has been made known. And the details of our fun? Coming soon . . .

It's all relative . . .

It is now day 3 of The Haller Family Vacation. To be fair and completely accurate most of us involved in said holiday do not currently carry that particular surname. But it is my belief that everything important should have a title or headline. And as I'm not feeling very creative or witty at the moment we'll go with the above.

Let's get caught up, shall we?

Day 1 began quite early. Or very, very late? Younger sister Sarah and I made the wise decision to stay up the majority of the night before in an effort to get everything packed and ready to go for our rendezvous with the rest of the fam. I'm already painfully aware of the deficiencies in my packing - lots of socks but no toothpaste - so am thinking that the decision, perhaps not so wise after all. But I've digressed. Sure to happen frequently in the course of this blog. Moving on . . .

I'd like to be able to just gloss over the majority of day one and describe it as a long and uninteresting day of travel. But that wouldn't be the truth or any where near as much fun. Instead I'd like to share with all of you a little video gem of SJ living her life through music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sfzf1N-tOA (sorry for being so low-tech, couldn't get it to embed in the blog. working on it!)

Obviously, all of our fellow travelers in the Memphis airport were highly entertained by this and not at all scared. It was 8 in the morning.

On the plane we continued to entertain those in our close proximity while ironing out the details for the travel show Sarah and I feel we are destined to star in. The premise of the show - which we've decided to initially limit to the US- would be trips to places made famous through songs. We'd visit places in person that others had previously visited through music. We'd give special attention to places that described certain actions as we feel we (as well as others) would enjoy the re-enactment. Hence, "Walking in Memphis." Our preliminary list of places to see - and sing about - is long, promising, and another blog topic altogether. See? Told ya. I've digressed.

After leaving fair Tennessee we arrived in
Tallahassee, Florida. Due to circumstances
outside of our control (and you KNOW how much I hate not being in control!) we settled in for a 5 hour wait for the rest of the immediate Haller family crew before cramming into a minivan for our trek to the beach. We arrived without further incident and not much fanfare (will tactfully skate over all the arguments and frustrations re: the speed at which my mother drives) at our home for the next week. My cousin (God bless you Julie!) had the margaritas ready and waiting. The long day of travel was forgotten and the real start to our vacation had begun . . .

Frankie Says Relax

Yesterday I purposely slept late, only waking to keep an appointment I'd made previously for a massage. Darlene the masseuse beat me up. She really did. But it was in that aahh-my-muscles-really-needed-that kind of way. She told me I had an "analytical energy" and proceeded to have a one-sided dialogue about how interesting it was that our professions or careers had such an impact on our bodies. I usually zone out during a massage, but enough filtered through that I'm pretty sure she was saying that my body was mad at me for being a doctor. Really, really mad.

After over an hour of paying to be pummelled, I decided to further my relaxation by going to see a movie. I chose the new Die Hard movie. For any John Mclane/Bruce Willis fans out there please allow me to take a short detour and say: You won't be disappointed. Bruce as John did his thing and did it entertainingly well. His chosen career definitely impacted his body - ouch buddy! As far as relaxation goes however, not sure how much I got accomplished - by the end of the movie those aahh muscles were feeling pretty tense again:)

So, what's a girl to do? Well, this girl went shopping. And, again, maybe not the best choice if relaxation was the goal. Several hours, one cute dress, and a screaming migraine later I left that particular haven-of-calm we call a mall. Pretty sure I'm never going back . . . well, maybe not never.

Next stop: pedicure. This, I thought, was fool proof. What could possibly go wrong in this beautiful little corner of the world where for 45 minutes someones sole purpose in life, their only goal, is to pamper your feet? I forgot that they ask you questions. So, so many questions.

Do you want a manicure too? No thank you. Are you sure? Yep. What color for your toes? Uhhhh. Hmmmm. Ma am, color? Let's see . . . not sure. Hmmm. You want French instead? Ok. You want a delux today? Sounds good. The water ok? Perfect. Manicure? Uh, no. No shave today, huh? Well, no actually. Want wax? No. Sure? Yes. How about we clean up your eye brows? No thanks. Paraffin? Hmmm. Paraffin wax for your feet? Oh, ok. Too hot? Uhhhh. Feel good? Uhhhh . . . well, actually yeah. It does. Thank you. Good, you want manicure now too?

And so, after a marathon day of relaxation I arrived home with pretty toes, a new dress, sore muscles, and a nagging headache. In a complete state of exhaustion.