Thursday, October 25, 2007

"Do I stay or do I go now?"

Been struggling a lot lately with my career path. It's hard for me to admit (getting easier!) but I'm not happy with my professional life. And that's so not me! It's a completely foreign feeling. I've always been pretty smug with the choices I've made when it comes to my job. Starting with the decision to go to med school, I've felt confident at each juncture that I was on the right path. But, now? The only thing I'm confident about is that I've made a mistake.

I was naive. I was, actually, the definition of naive. I put a lot of trust in people that don't deserve it, trust in people that did nothing to earn it. But a lot of the responsibility is with me. I took the easiest road, the path of least resistance. I know that now.

The next step is knowing what to do about it. And that's the big problem I'm facing. Because, I have NO idea what to do.

Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler" keeps running through my head: You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, know when to run. Well Kenny, that may be easier said (or sung!) than done. I guess I'll just put on my poker face until I get it all figured out . . .

2 comments:

Code name: 1% said...

man, do i ever feel you on this one. how, precisely, does one end up as a PhD chemical engineer when she has no intention of being a chemical engineer and/or using her PhD? PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE and NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO ANYWAY.

is it the dr. part you're not feeling, or the hospital, or the city? you could always get a job somewhere else.

amy said...

I know the doctor thing is still for me. Definitely not feeling the hospital and not sure Dallas is where I'm supposed to be. I'm working on it. God, this adult thing kinda sucks!